If I Knew Then

Chapter 9: Road Trip

After that night at the hotel, Nick avoided Brian for several days even when they flew overseas for the last few dates of their tour. Another tour would pick up in August and they had rehearsals at the end of July. Brian tried a few times to get him to talk but Nick would brush him off. Nick's dad was with them for these days so they did not room together. Brian was rooming with Kevin instead. He loved his cousin dearly but at the same time, Kevin was very belligerent about the fight with Nick and making things right.

"Have you apologized to him yet?" Kevin asked, over breakfast one morning in the hotel. They had three shows overseas in a row before they'd come back to the states for some small festivals.

"I've been trying to, but he is avoiding me." Brian shrugged. He wasn't really in a rush to get Nick talking to him because it was quite obvious that he was still angry. This left Brian with quite a few sleepless nights and strange dreams that he couldn't explain.

"I honestly do not blame him after that."

Brian could have smacked his cousin if there weren't so many people there, but he probably would have said the same thing. Nick looked so glum and depressed and it was his fault.

He hoped that soon he'd come up with something.

After the shows, the boys came back home to have a couple of days off for the Fourth of July so Brian decided to take Nick to the beach for the weekend. He'd booked them a room in Cocoa Beach so they could enjoy the beach and also go to the pier where there was an arcade. He planned to order them pizzas and movies as well to entertain them. Unfortunately any time he tried to call Nick at his parent's house he either wasn't home or did not want to talk to him, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. The night of July 3rd, Brian showed up at the house in Tampa where Nick's family lived to pick him up as a surprise.

"Hi, Brian!" Aaron shouted happily, hugging him when he answered the door at the family house in Tampa.

"Hey, squirt...where's your brother?" Brian chuckled, ruffling the boy's hair. Aaron was much like Nick in many ways such as the singing. Nick often denied how much alike they were but Brian could see it.

"I think he's in his room." Aaron said. Brian followed him into the house, surprised that Nick's parents were not present with young children running around.

When he knocked on the door he could hear some rap music playing softly behind it.

"Nick?"

"What is it now?"

The door opened and Nick's eyes were wide, he dropped whatever he was holding in surprise. Brian knew the address of his family's home but he'd never come there to visit before. His heart started to beat fast and he mentally calmed himself down so he didn't seem eager to see him, which he was. He missed Brian if not more than Brian missed him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too...I came to kidnap you for the weekend." Brian said, almost laughing at the look of utter confusion on Nick's face. None of the guys really ever visited him on their down time, it was usually Nick being dumped off at the apartment Kevin and Brian had in Orlando or Nick ending up at Howie's house. In fact, Brian was really surprised that Nick wasn't at Howie's at all.

"Huh?"

"I got us a hotel in Cocoa Beach, I want to take you there for the weekend."

Nick blushed and rubbed the back of his head the way he would when he was embarrassed.

"I thought....I thought that I annoyed you. Why would you want to hang out with me all weekend? Was your girlfriend busy?" Nick snapped hurriedly, pretending he was still angry and retreating back into his room as Brian followed. It was a typical teenage boy's room but there were two beds, Brian assumed Aaron also stayed here. It was messy just like Nick kept his bunk on the tour bus.

"Okay, I guess I deserve that. Nick....I been trying to talk to you about that because I did not say it the way she told you."

The whole time Brian was talking, Nick was not listening. Leighanne's words echoed in his head over and over.

"Are you so obsessed with him that you can't leave him alone for a few hours?"

"He tells me all the time you're annoying!!"

"Brian, I know you love her but...." Nick started, but he was surprised when Brian stopped him from finishing his sentence.

"I am not in love. I like her very much but I'm not."

Nick stared at him in confusion, he wondered what suddenly brought this on. Or why Brian all of a sudden wanted to hang out with him because it was very clear that him being gay was beginning to be a problem between them. Brian was clearly not comfortable with him in the hotel.

"You sure act like you're in love."

They sat down on the bed on the left and Brian put his arm around Nick.

"I was frustrated because things were getting weird between us and you didn't like Leighanne. You could never annoy me, Nick. You're my best friend. I'm so sorry. I never wanted that to happen, and I shouldn't have ditched you for her. I had no idea the trouble you went through to get the tickets for that game so I want to take you away for the weekend. Just you and me. What do you say?"

"I don't know."

"Come on, it's been forever since we hung out- just the two of us guys."

It suddenly hit Nick that they were sitting on his bed in his bedroom, and the two of them were completely alone.

Brian almost smiled at how red Nick was turning in the face, redder than his Tampa Bay football jersey. It was almost a turn on how shy he could be sometimes. Shaking those thoughts away, he felt a pang in his chest again and chalked it up to stress from the album coming out and the impending tour. They needed to just get away for a couple of days, to be alone.

You just want him to yourself. To explore what these dreams mean.

Brian shook that feeling away too.

That's dangerous territory, don't go there.

"Please come with me to the beach. I know you miss hanging out and so do I. We are in serious need of best friend time."

"All right."

The two of them waited for Nick's parents to come home and then Nick took his overpacked book bag, throwing it into Brian's pickup. They left for the east coast of Florida, driving off into the sunset to have three days of bonding time.

Just two friends hanging out together.

Brian stared at Nick who was leaning out of the window, his hair blowing in the wind as they drove down the highway listening to the radio.

Friends, and nothing else.