Dear Diary - A ?????? Story

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Another one for you. I like making ones like this where you are simply guessing until the end. It gives it that extra tension build up :)))

Enjoy <3

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Sad?

Words: 706

-TaylortheDinosaur ^,-,^
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Dear Diary -

Heartbreak is a funny thing. We all know it's going to happen, yet we're never prepared for it. We underestimate its power. It's like giving a murderer a gun, and expecting not to be killed. Why are we never ready for it? Because we're in denial. We believe it won't happen. We believe the murderer will not kill us. We believe if we give him our hearts he will not crush it. Hearts shouldn't be crushed. They should be cherished and protected. I wish someone would have told you that. I wish you could've known. I wish you would have cherished and protected my heart.

I can't stop loving you. You betray my affections and leave my heart in shattered disarray of pieces. Every single time you steal a part of me, and you make it impossible for me to put myself together. Why should I have the heavy heart? Why should I play the grieving one and cry? And yet, I always come back around to you. Why is that? Perhaps I hope that you return what you've stolen. You never do. You just take more. More and more and more. And for you, more is never enough. You can take me, you can take my heart, you can take the hearts of a million and it would never be enough for you. Your blood is cold. Your heart can't love anything but itself. You smile, and it's intoxicating. Your fingers brush through my hair, and it's addicting. You laugh, and it's contagious. You and your flirtatious self. You know what you do to me. You don't mind the company, but you know that you could never, would never, return the love I shared with you. Yet I lay here next to you as you sleep in the world I knew so brightly, now dark, and cry. We all want love. I wanted love and I found you and now I'm here broken hearted. Heartbroken. To come so close to pure love and lose it so violently is something no medication can heal.

Once I was a glass figurine, perfect to the eye, fragile underneath. Since you used your words as weapons I am ground to the finest of dust - still glass, yet vulnerable to any gust. I still feel pain, so much raw pain, but I can't be broken anymore. You did your worst, but I am still here, sparkling in the midwinter light.

You are my love, my best friend, my hero - yet from time to time you shoot me dead. With your knowledge of who I am you can't miss... and why? Mostly you misinterpret my motives, mix it with frustrations that do not belong to me and come at me with verbal bullets. Then we're back to love and forgiveness. I pretend like I'm over it right away - I never am. It just takes time to heal and you can't help me with that. No-one can be inflictor and healer. Trouble is, all I have is you. So whilst I'd never give you up, never let you down, never stop loving you... just wait while this new heartbreak mends.

You said you loved me and I took you at your word. You said I was your soul mate and over the years you became part of the bedrock of my personality. Then one sunny day, under a cloudless sky, you announced you were in love with someone else. It would have been kinder to kill me. Now I must be this person filled with a bitterness I can't control. Now my heart is consumed by a hatred I never knew could take root. But here it is. Here we are. I am yesterday's news and I'll never fit as the prize possession again. All the while I am forced to smile and make small talk to you as you break my heart over and over again. The hate doesn't ebb, it multiplies.

I am more than flesh, greater than bones. I will get over this and I will leave you one day. But for now Cartoonz, I'm stuck with you and as much as you wrecked my heart, I am stronger.

Signed, Ohm 

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