RAVEN'S HOPE

9- Outpatient

————11/03/18———

———12:10PM————

Vincent avoided me throughout the week. Abigail tried to help the situation but I knew that nothing was going to relive the tension unless I talked to him by myself. I spent the whole week rehearsing what I would say to Vincent, his reactions and most probably his rejection.

The walk to Vincent's table was scary. He was seated beside Natalia. He had his arm around her waist and it hurt me so much that I thought about turning around.

"Hey Vincent." I said immediately I tapped him. He turned and surprise flooded his face. He quickly let go of Natalia and turned to me. "Can I talk to you? Alone?"

"Um, yeah." He looked at his friends before standing up and following me out of the cafeteria. "So what's the issue?"

"I'm sorry." I started and he nodded before leaning on the locker. "For the way I reacted after that night. I felt very insecure and I jumped to conclusions. I really want to take back everything I said. I'm really sorry." I apologised and he nodded. He tucked some hair behind my ear. My heart skipped and I knew that right then, I was head over heels in love with him.

"It's kind of my fault too. I shouldn't have strung you along. I mean, I like you and all but I'm not ready for the labelling. I just recently came out of a really terrible relationship." My heart sunk and thought about what he said. I calmly shrugged and proceeded to walk away. "Is there anything else you want to say?" He asked as he pulled me back.

This was my only chance. My only chance to tell him how I feel. "I don't like saying personal things and it scares me that I have to. I like you, Vincent. More than I should. More than you know. I also just left a relationship and I don't think I can bear to get hurt again but I just want you to know that your feelings are mutual. I like you too." There was a shade of red across his cheek and I gave him a small smile. My heart was threatening to burst out of my chest but I felt good. Fine, in fact.

The bell rang and I used that as an excuse to rush to my locker and hide myself. Tears were threatening to slip out but I had to be strong and hold myself.

————4:30PM———

"Rave, you need to start coming out more." Nia announced as she got ready for our family dinner. I lied to my mum that I was sick so she let me stay at home. "You can't keep hiding here."

"Ni, to be honest, I'm not feeling good. I don't think I can fake a conversation and watch dad keep the tension on a down low." I said and she turned to me with a look of sympathy. "Its quite awkward for me."

"I'm a love child. Illegitimate. How am I supposed to feel? Every single time you think about how you feel or how you're not feeling. What about the rest of us, huh?" Nia almost screamed at me and I was slightly taken aback. Who is this girl in front of me. "Some times you're so self-centered." With a huff, she packed her hair in a high pony tail and walked out of my room.

I didn't bother to call her or anything because I knew that no matter what I say, I'll still be the weird, awkward, self-centered, foolish, selfish, stupid Raven Michelle. No matter how hard I tried, that'll always be my apposition.

My door slightly opened and I huffed as I turned in my bed, not wanting to see whoever it was.

"Hun." My mum called and I closed my eyes. "We're leaving now. Are you sure you're okay?" I nodded. "Its just going to be a while, I'll be back, okay?" I nodded again. "Should I stay at home-"

"Let's just leave. She doesn't need us. She has her fucked up mind to keep her company." I heard Nia say from behind the door and I slipped my hand underneath my pillow to search for my phone. My earpiece was still connected to it so I wore it and started listening to my favorite playlist. Holding me back by Jordan Ward. It drowned out their voices and I was happy.