Simon
I usually wake up gulping for cool air, but this morning the bed feels cool. My body temperature feels balanced out, not scalding warmth, but not shivering cold. The bed also seems to be breathing and that's when I fully feel awake. I lift my head to immediately be face to face with Baz, his mouth slightly open (finally he's the mouth breather), and his cheeks tinted pink for the first time. My body must be warming up his own. I then realize our position, chest to chest, me practically straddling him. He looks so calm here, his usual sneer replaced with a sleepy content face. He looks beautiful. I don't remember much of last night, but I do remember the nightmare. Baz was burning, his pale skin lit up with flames. I remember yelling at him, reminding him he was flammable, but he wouldn't listen. It felt like he was lit up for so long, but also like he was gone instantly. I slightly remember him holding me, telling me it was okay, that he was there and safe. I wonder if this counts as cheating but then I remember Agatha's monologue about needing to be seperate. The sun is slowly rising through the window, the window he usually closes, but he must have left it open for me. I gently untangle our limbs to get up and close it for him. I look back, wanting to just snuggle back into his chill. But I also don't want to deal with this right now, knowing it's just another problem that will be added to the list. It's Saturday so at least I can avoid him for the rest of the day. I quickly pull on my uniform and quietly close the door behind me. I race to breakfast, hoping Penny will be there so I won't be left alone with my thoughts. The smell of sour cherry scones and Penny's content face studying Normal phrases immediately calm my anxieties. She's been very adamant on creating 10 new spells by the end of the year. I decide not to tell Penny about this morning, knowing Penny she'll find some way to scold me for my actions. I feel surprisingly rested and jog to our table.
She barely lifts her head to look at me over her Normal book, but she does a double take as I quietly take my seat and go for a scone.
"Goodmorning Simon. You're quiet this morning. Usually you would already be babbling about Baz's plotting by now.". Just hearing his name makes all the blood rush to my face and I try to scarf down a scone as quick as I can to try and hide my cheeks. Penny notices, of course she does. "Is something wrong Simon?" she asks with a small grin. I shake my head no and she does the same with that smile still plastered on her face.
Five minutes later the grand doors open with Basilton fking Grimm Pitch walking in like nothing happened. I try not to look but obviously fail and he cocks an eyebrow at me before seating and turning away from me. I turn back around to Penny who still has that sht eating grin on her face, the corners of her mouth practically turned to the ceiling. "Simon,"she starts. I try to give her a dismissive look, begging her to not continue with my eyes, but she doesn't get the hint. "Has something happened between you and Baz?".
"Wha- no- god- Pen....-I have no idea what you are talking about!" I stutter out, my heartbeat rushing with every word. The nerves sit in the bottom of my stomach, the taste of magic in my mouth. I can practically feel the waves of magic rolling out of me, fresh waves of anxiety mixed in. Penny's face falls as she tries to calm me down, but I don't even know what she's saying. I can't think, all I can feel is the magic overflowing. I need to get away before I blow up the whole area and rush out of the grand doors, Penny's fingers slowly slipping away from me.
I try to get as far away from Watford as I can, less damage. But as I almost reach the draw bridge a cool pair of hands grab me from behind. "Simon..." he says and I don't know whether it calms me or freaks me out more. He pulls me into his chest and I basically weep out of frustration. He knows I could blow up, my magic has a very distinct scent. But he just holds me tightly and cards his hands through my hair, trying to calm me down. I try to even my breaths with his, our chests rising and falling together. He kisses my temple and I feel my legs go weak, but he holds me upright. Why am I allowing this to happen? Yesterday I would have accused him of trying to f me up but his arms feel so safe now that I have them. Everything he's saying in my ear feels so real, I can't imagine he would be able to come up with them on the spot to mess with me. He tells me I'm brilliant, that I'm some courageous fck, that I can do this. God, I wanna kiss him. I lift my head from his chest, my nose hitting his chin. He looks down at me with somber eyes, his thumbs coming up to wipe away my stray tears.
"Baz..." I start but I don't know how to convey what I'm feeling. I wanna kiss him, show him what I'm feeling, but my brain can't communicate with my limbs. I just lay my head back on his shoulder and wind my arms around his neck. He holds me softly, like I'm a piece of china. Like I could break. I feel like I could break.
"You alright Snow?" he asks me quietly, the tufts of his hair tickling my ear.
"You called me Simon before."
"I don't know what you're talking about." he chuckles.
The warm deep reverberance of his voice makes me cling tighter. He can tell.
"How am I already exhausted?" I whine into his shoulder. He arms squeeze me into him and I practically mold into him. Our bodies are flush together, my feet planted between his legs, our chests together.
"You would be even more tired if I had let you go off."
"Thank you." I whisper. He pecks my head in response. I like this. I love this in fact. I prefer him soft like this, all his harsh edges curved out. But I can't do this. This is just another problem added to the list of hundreds. I force myself to step away, our arms falling to our sides. "I need to go talk to Penny, make sure she knows I'm okay."
His edges come back, I can practically see his body get stiff, his shoulders pull up with perfect posture. "Of course Snow. I'll see you later." and with that he turns on his heels and he's gone. God what the fck have I gotten myself into.
