Simon
I spend the rest of the day with Penny in the library. She felt really bad about setting me off this morning but I just told her that I hadn't slept well that night and anything small could have set me off. I don't tell her about Baz and the comfort he gave me, she thinks I just calmed myself down. I should probably study for Greek, but my mind can't stray away from Baz. I know I shouldn't give in to him. My brain is telling me that he's just trying to get me to depend on him and then he's gonna tear the ground from beneath my feet. It also doesn't explain how I've felt towards him. I've never wanted to kiss a bloke before, I've only ever wanted to kiss Aggie. Maybe I'm trying to substitute Baz for Agatha, teenage boy hormones getting all jumbled up. Of course! That's what it is, I just want someone. But i'm not going to allow myself to indulge anymore.
I leave the library and go on up to Mummer's House with a new sense of determination. I'm going to get ready for bed, sleep well tonight with no nightmares, and then ignore everything that has happened today. Of course that is a lot easier said than done.
Baz
When I get back from the Catacombs, Snow is already passed out, his body contorted in towards himself. His hair is still wet, his damp pillow evidence of it. His mouth open, like usual, his cheeks rosy. I hate to say it, because I don't want him to go through that, but I hope he has another nightmare. I feel guilty, my heart breaking at the thought of him in emotional pain, but I know it's the only time he'll let me hold him. God, Simon's body is like a drug. I had one pull and now it's like I need him to breathe. I try to stay warm throughout the night with a closed window and multiple blankets, but nothing compares to the warmth of Simon's body against mine. I get ready for bed, opening the window for Simon before getting in to my own bed. I magick the lights off, the twit somehow fell asleep with them on, and try to relax. I know he wouldn't have a nightmare so early on in the night, he couldn't have fallen asleep less than an hour ago. But I don't want him to go through it any longer than he has to. As soon as I hear one cry, I'll be there. I rest my eyes in the meantime, imagining what I'll do this time. It was hard to wake him up last time, so now I'll grab him immediately and hold him, wake him up as fast as I can. I try to fidget as much as I can, keep myself awake, but Simon is 3 feet away from me and his breathing is quickly lulling me to sleep, my own version of a nursery rhyme. I try but quickly fail, and soon my soft snores mix with Simon's.
Simon
Baz is here and he's holding me, my magic filled up to the brim, one movement and it will all spill over. His hands are chilling but refreshing on my cheeks, his chin rested on top of my head. I try to match my breathing with his, trying to cling onto every word he's saying.
"You got this."
"Reel it in, I believe in you."
"Cmon, I'm right here, you don't want to blow me up you beautiful nightmare."
I slowly feel it falling, almost like a cup with a hole in it, the magick slowly leaking back into my body. I keep breathing slowly until I know it's gone and he kisses the top of my head. Like he's proud of me. I nearly purr under his praise, but as soon as I dissolve in his arms that feeling comes up again. I wanna kiss him, see if his lips are as refreshing as his skin. I look up and he just looks down at me with a glimmer of something in his eyes. Adoration maybe? Maybe the same feeling I'm feeling? He's leaning in, his nose bumping mine. I guess he is feeling the same way. My hands come up to his face as I lean in just that little bit more. His lips are as refreshing. Almost as if I'm downing a glass of water after a hot summer's day. But as soon as it's there, it's gone. His arms retract, he backs away a few steps.
"What the fuck Snow! What's wrong with you?!" his voice raises, his hands coming up in confusion. I blubber for a few seconds, my fingers going up to my hair. I rake them through my curls looking down at the ground. What have I done? I just ruined everything I ever wanted with Baz.
"Crowley Snow, you really are thick! What! Just because Agatha didn't want you doesn't mean you go up the ladder! You really think I could want you, is your magick muddling up your brain even more than usual? Merlin.." and with that he's walking off into the distance, but I can't, I can't let him go.
"No Baz, I'm sorry! Come back! Please!!"
"Simon wake up please!!!"
And with that I'm back in Baz's arms. I grab at his shirt, sobbing into his shoulder. I'm wailing his name now, not believing that he's truly here. He's tearing his hands through my curls, clutching me tighter with each sob.
"I got you Simon. I promise, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." his own voice getting choked up. I'm gasping for air by then, the sobs leaving no room for breathing. My hands are roaming, just trying to grab whatever piece of him I can. "Simon, love, I need you to calm down, ok?" he asks. He pulls my head back from his neck and holds his hands on either side of my face. "Cmon, love, breath for me please." I watch his chest and try to mimic. He's whispering praises in my ear the whole time, my heart expanding with every phrase, to the point where it feels like it's gonna burst. I'm soon in sync with his own puffs of air and he pushes me back into his chest. I move with his hands like clay, molding back into him. My tears have slowed to just small streaks down my cheeks and he wipes the side he can see away.
"Baz..." I whisper, low enough I wasn't even sure he'd hear it. But he does. Vampire hearing and all.
"Yes love?" Crowley, just that makes my body melt again.
"I like this."
"I do too, Simon."
