Reviews of a Nerdaholic

One Night Two Crazies (Halloween Special)

Welcome Wattpad to the, just a little late, Halloween Special of Reviews of a Nerdaholic! Now, as you may or may not know, I own a YouTube channel with my friend Gareth called RazerRazel. So, when me ol' buddy ol' pal came down to the fair ol' shitehole of Newport to film his college project we also made a whole bunch of Let's Plays in the meantime. I had a bit of monies on my Xbox Live profile so I decided to look on the infamous Xbox Live Indie Store for some totally not shit games for us to LP. One of these games was titled One night Two crazies and it's cover photo was of , what I can only assume, is a teenage boy standing in a hallway with a hockey puck in his hand and wearing an ice hockey mask.

Now when I say "I can only assume" , I don't mean the graphics are bad. In fact they are very realistic , albeit a little blurry, because it is all live action! Yes, that's right, now we can run back in time to the era of shitty FMV games. I thought I was on an Xbox 360, not a feckin' Sega CD! The game isn't even FMV really because it doesn't have video, until the death screen, instead it uses still pictures so in retrospect it is even worse because now the game runs at 1 frame per second, eat your heart out Assassin's Creed: Unity.

But graphics and preformance don't really matter THAT much if you have absolutely stellar gameplay, which this feckin' don't. The gameplay in One night Two crazies is a lot like that of Five Nights at Freddie's where you navigate cameras to find your assailants and then close a door to stop them coming in and pulling your arsehole out through your mouth. But FNAF had atmosphere , although I don't like the game that much it has the assets to make a pretty scary environment with a creepy location and genuinly terrifying sound effects. One night Two crazies did make me jump the first few times but after those two , maybe three times it lost all sense of horror because unlike FNAF's creepy Chuck E Cheese rip off this game is set in someone's house.

Yes, that's right, someone's house. Nay joke. The premise of ONTC is that you are testing camera equipment in your own house while your friends try to navigate around the cameras and fuckin' jump your dumb ass. Let's compare this to the game it's ripping off for a second.FNAF: Animatronic homicidal robots that look like creepy ass animlals roaming the establishment at night. If you are found you will be stuffed inside an animal costume , as they cannot see human flesh so they will mistake you for a naked exoskeleton and shove you in a costume which will push your eyeballs out through your face and mutilate you in ways I cannot describe.
ONTC: Two dumb college cunts testing your camera system, one dressed as an ice hockey player while the other is dressed as a "spiderman" . . . and nothing like the superhero.

The atmosphere in the game is non existant in the game and every level starts with a really cheesy ringtone that makes me giggle like a little schoolgirl . In fact the game was full of laughs instead of scares which shouldn't be the case in a horror game. The first time you see the first assailant you react like "Oh, fuck that's kinda creepy." but then a quick look to his side reveals that he's holding a hockey stick which, as YouTubers Chet and Jon said "I could deflect that with a pillow." Sometimes, the positions of the characters themself can be hilarious. The second "crazy" or the "spiderman-thing" as the game puts it is shown lying down on the bed as if he's relaxing sometimes and when he's in the hallway it looks like he's army crawling as if he's playing soldier. This isn't the kind of stuff you want in a horror game, you're supposed to scream not laugh.

There are a few signs from the start that this game isn't going to be very good. The first sign is that the title of the fuckin' game isn't the same in-game as it is on the XBLIG store. The store says it is called One Night Two Crazies but the game calls itself 10 Scary Nights, ooooooh ominous. In fact, another sign that shows this game is total guff from the start is the way the text is put in the game. None of the text in the entire game is centered, at all. The main menu is moved to the left and the death screen is moved to the right, talk about inconsistancy. During gameplay , the game also seems to chuck you out of it's toootally scary nature by adding the worst overlay effects I've seen since Birdemic. There are times when the laptop screen will have a short animation of blood running down the screen that looks like it was made in MSPaint. ONTC doesn't have a power level like in FNAF , instead it has sanity like found in Amnesia.  When you look in the hallway, which you need to do to close the door, you lose your sanity. This means that you can't check the hallwaytoo often later on in the game but that leads to a problem because when they are in that part of the house, they are not on the cameras so you have to check the hallway to see if they are there. A bit of a flaw if you ask me.

Now, as bad as this game is, I shouldn't have really complained much because it is on the Xbox Live Indie Store, the land of shitty games but then I found something absolutely terrifying , This game is currently on Steam Greenlight. Recently steam has started to be plauged with bad games over the past year and if this game gets Greenlit I may just cry. This game isn't bad when you compare it to other games on XBLIG but when you compare it to the games on steam, oh Nelly.

Blury graphics, stupid characters and absolute lack of atmosphere make this game exteremly revolting to play.

I give ONTC a 2/10