WARNING! This review will contain bad language. If you feel offended by this kind of shit then don't read. Happy hunting!
By today I seem obligated to try and cut down on swearing when writing reviews as it's not exactly professional, is it? But then something comes along which REALLY pisses me off, like Colonial Marines or Ghosts of Sherwood. I would try and mix up the type of reviews, like add a movie review in or sommit (probably Godzilla next ;D) but if you know me I'M LAAAAZY!! So I'm not going to review MGS: Ground Zeroes with it's side missions included because they last about five to ten minutes each and there is five of them (six if you count the update making the exclusive missions available on all platforms).
Now, this game looks AMAZING! I played the game on the Xbox 360 and it was still beautiful , especially in the dark whilst raining, the environmental effects are just stunning! There were hardly any problems that I encountered , just one that I can remember when I walked straight through a peice of cover but that fixed itself straight away. So nothing really in the game is broken and the game is by no means bad! The game was quite good in fact.
The gameplay is good too. Now there is a automatic snap to cover system which sometimes attaches you to walls when you don't want it to and can get really fucking annoying in high-stress situations. The game starts you with an automatic assault rifle and a tranquilizer pistol and because I wanted to get the most out of the game I used the Tranq throughout and to my surprise, beat the game in 36 minutes on normal difficulty. And thats my main gripe with this fucking game, what I played was good but the what I played is shorter than a ADHD patients attention span. I will put a link at the bottom to a picture of my game time after the main game , the "Ground Zeroes" mission. I'm not the only one who thought that this was a dumb fucking design choice , you know charging twenty fucking quid for an hour long game!! I literally walked to one side of the map, broke out a cunt from a koon and took him to a cliff , waited a minute for a helicopter then put the cunt on it and walked to the other side of the map where I found the other cunt and took that cunt to a helicopter.
I wont spoil the ending of Ground Zeroes, but instead of playing it, I suggest just watching a quick playthrough of the game. And this is the only game I have ever said that for and that's because even if a game is good or bad, you can't really experience it by watching a video of it. This game changes, it lasted me 40 minutes and my favorite in it was watching the last cutscene because that shit is the shit. If you can find it for a fiver then I would reccomend it but at twenty it's seriously not worth it. I didn't buy TitanFall because I don't believe that a game that is multiplayer only is worth full retail. THIS wankstain charges half of full retail and is much shorter than most of the arcade games on XBOX LIVE. If I was you I would top up my Microsoft Points and buy One Finger Death Punch for 69 pence, a dollar in America.
In concusion, I rate Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes: 4/10
What's there is good, but there's fuck all there!
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Reviews of a Nerdaholic
NonfiksiI don't recall how many times I've thought of writing some description for this bollocks but take what you want from it. I review stuff, movies and games mostly but occasionally I may review something else if I feel like it. All depends on what mood...
