Half My Love

Chapter 9: Thersa

I was going to the football ground, when I saw two people kissing away from the lighting of the stadium, so the vision was very unclear. I went closer to see who they are, but I kept my distance so they wouldn't see me. "Ohh is that Tina? Who is she kissing? I only can see Tina's face." I thought to myself.

I went a little more closer to hear a very familiar voice. "I love you" Oh wait, I knew that voice but my heart didn't want to believe it. It was James. Ohhh no no no. I couldn't stop my tears from falling. I felt swords cutting the middle of my heart. The pain that you feel when you lose the last hope left. Many questions came to my mind but I ignored them all and ran as fast as I could. I have never been hurt like this before. It was the most hurtful feeling that anybody could feel. It was the pain of love. I just wished that I could remove my heart from inside of me so I wouldn't feel it.

I didn´t want to go home I was so destroyed and didn't want my grandpa to see me in this situation. The first person who came to my mind was Ed. I texted him to ask him if I could stay at his house until I felt better. Actually Ed lived alone, his parents were always traveling for work. "Can I stay at your house tonight?" After minutes he replied: "Of course!"

Tell me what happened, I never saw you in a situation like this before. Did James hurt you with any of his words? Please speak Thersa, you can't just stay silent all night." Edward says after hours of sitting on the couch. I had the power only to say two words, "It hurts." Tears fall from my eyes. "It hurts less when you talk about it to people you trust." He says. "Please..." I say. "Ok , I understand. Go to sleep now in my  bed and I´ll sleep in my parents bed." He took my hand and pulled me to his room, put me in bed and covered me with a blanket, then turned off the light and left.

Two days passed by and I didn't know how time passed by so fast. This monday morning I was stronger than before. I decided that I won't let my emotions control me. My future waits for me. I just can't sit in the bed crying for something that will never be mine. I went home, ran to my room so that my pa wouldn't see how my face looked. I took a shower, then wore my glasses and put on my clothes. I went back to the living room and kissed my pa then rode the bus.

My sister sat next to me and I tried to avoid her by pretending that I was reading a novel but she took my book as she always does. "You stayed at Ed's house for two days. I really missed you" She says. "We were working on our science project" I lie. "Guess what has happened in the last few days?" She says . "What?" I pretend to not to know. "Me and James, we are dating. Can you believe it?"

She seems to be very happy. Her happiness erased all the pain from heart. I have to move on and forget about him even though I have tried all these years to do so. This time it's the  end. He's hers not mine. "I am so happy for you. James is a very good guy..." I say. "Oh yes he is one of the cutest guys I have ever dated." She says.

When we came to school I went to the music room and started playing the piano. It always helps me when I feel sad. I had skipped the religion period. It was the first time I had skipped a period, in my whole life. Then I went to class and we had math. I was totally focused on solving  the math problems and I didn't realize that James and Tina weren't in class. I just reminded myself that I had to be happy for them.

Me and Ed sat in the cafeteria without any word. We were both silent but I decided to break the silence when James and Tina passed by holding hands. "Thank you for letting me stay in your house for the weekend" I say. "It's okay your my best friend, I will always be next to you on your bad days as well as your happy ones". "Will my days will still be called 'happy days' when James isn't in them?" I ask myself.

"Christmas is coming in two weeks. What are you deciding to do during the holidays?" He asks. "I will spend my day at home with my pa and my sis" I say. "Oh , my nephew and my  sister are coming to visit us on Christmas."He  says. "How cute, you surely have missed them so much" I say. "Soooo much" he says.

The day got over so quickly. On the bus, I took my Ipod and started to listening to Billie Ellish. She is my favorite singer."

"How am I supposed to make you feel okay?
When all you do is walk the other way?
I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay
I just kinda wish you were gay..."

I listen to this song and feel like Billie wrote it just for me.

When my sister was sitting next to Emma, this time, they were probaly were gossiping about some girls in school. When I came home I prepared some sandwiches for me and my sister. Then I went to my room and took a shower, wore PJ's and did some math homework. The next day was also the same routine as the previous day and so were the following days.

On Wednesday, the chemistry teacher asked if I could stay after school. After I finished cleaning I went to the cleaning room in school to put the water bucket. I opened the door and found two people woohooing inside. They were James and Tina. "Ohhhhhhh noo noooooo noo I am sorry." I say as fast I could, then quickly close the door.

I ran back home as fast as I could. I entered my room and closed the door behind me. How could my day be worse than this. It was the most disgusting and hurtful day I had ever seen in my whole life. I literally saw my sister half naked in a room woohooing with James the only boy I loved. I just don't want to see their faces after what I saw. Tears fall from my eyes. What should I do? What if pa knew what happened? He would definitely kill her...