cruel summer

five

things will change, they always do, but my heart will stay open for you.

jerry had come home the day after the gilbert ordeal. anne wanted to make the most of her time with him considering he was only staying in avonlea for three weeks before going home to france for the rest of the summer to see his family. diana was flying out for a week of that, because he wanted her to meet his family.

bea lay beside anne on her bedroom floor, finding the words to ask her if she wanted to talk about what had happened with gilbert. would she respond? would she get mad? it was such a sensitive topic.

"why do boys suck?" anne said all of a sudden, looking at the glow in the dark stars she had on her ceiling. bea let out a small laugh, shrugging her shoulders.

"i don't know. they don't all suck, though. once in a while you do find a boy who doesn't suck all that much." said bea, a small smile on her face. anne sighed, lifting her arms up in the air.

"yeah, but they all suck just a little bit no matter what." anne said, then she laughed. "i wonder how many times we said the word 'suck' in the past minute."

"i don't want to seem like i'm invading your privacy, but whatever happened between you and gilbert...maybe you should talk it out a little more. it's going to be an awkward and cruel summer if you two never forgive each other." bea said, trying her hardest to not overstep the line.

"i don't know if i can forgive him." said anne, biting her lip.

this was the issue. forgiving him. how could he let her believe everything was okay? that they were going to be with each other, that they wouldn't have to be hundreds of miles apart? he hurt her more than she thought anybody ever could. it took her until that moment to realise just how dependent she was on him, and how much she had relied on him for the longest time. it seemed as though she had lost who she was, although she truly loved gilbert with everything she had.

——

anne lay in the field of flowers she once sat in with harry and gilbert, surrounded by diana, jerry, ruby, tillie, josie and jane. it was a bitter sweet feeling to be back there, as it was one of her favourite places in avonlea but also the place she cherished her memories with gilbert.

she looked up to the sky, wondering how they had gone from enemies, to best friends, to lovers and then back to enemies. although, anne never really thought of gilbert as an enemy. she could never hate him, even after a whole year of being apart she hadn't stopped loving him.

she realised she had been thinking about him for too long when she heard his voice in her head. it was as clear as day, as if he was standing right there. only, he was standing right there. she just hadn't noticed him yet.

"anne." diana whispered from beside her, causing anne to look towards her best friend. diana nodded her head discreetly in the direction of the boy, hoping anne would catch on and look up. she did of course, due to how well she knew diana.

anne looked up, spotting gilbert talking to charlie and moody who had obviously just arrived with gilbert too. she bit her lip nervously, tearing her eyes away from him. she hadn't talked to him since the night she saw him at the diner. however, she had seen him a few days after the diner incident when she was walking through town, and conveniently avoided going into the grocery store after spotting him walking into the same shop.

she sat herself up, with her back facing gilbert. she didn't know how she was supposed to act around him. he was still friends with her friends. she was still going to see him.

he watched her sit up, her long red locks trailing endlessly down her back, the white, floral sundress she was wearing fitting her frame in the most perfect way. she was still the most beautiful person in the world to him, and he feared that would never change. she was never going to give him another chance, he knew how hard it was for her to let people in and still he managed to hurt her.

"di, do you have some water?" anne asked, turning to face her friend. he watched her do that too, smiling at the sound of her voice. the soft, beautiful voice he had missed so much.

"sure." said diana, handing anne her bottle of water. diana could feel the tension, in fact all of them could. with gilbert staring longingly at her and anne trying her hardest not to look at him. their friends knew something had to be done about the situation, they couldn't go the whole summer being the way they were in that moment.

if they did, it would be a long and cruel summer at that.

———

i'm SO sorry for how late this update is. i'm also so sorry for how shit it is !!!!!
please forgive me. i've been so tired n i've been working so much and my anxiety has been AWFUL. anyways, i love u and thank u for reading. it will get better i promise. <3
don't forget to comment & vote !