Paper Hearts (Phan)

14 days after

People are not so easily forgotten, I decided. People had told me before, that it was the most difficult thing in the world to forget about someone. I never really believed them until I had to do it myself.

I'd barely known him for 218 days, and damn it he'd managed to flip my life upside down.

The bus taking me home for spring break was nearly empty, which also blew my mind somehow, the only people being Lent and Harrison from Cat's room, and a couple others. They remained some of the only people I'd recognized and a few of the only ones that had really meant their apologies.

Figures, I thought and sat down in the same unoccupied spot I had the first time on this bus, I arrive without him and I leave without him.

Although I would be returning to Seacoast after the couple weeks, but not everyone would be after spring break. I'd kinda hoped I would be able to introduce Dan to my mum and dad, tell them 'this is the one' but that dream had been shattered like the windshield to his car and crushed like his chest.

Cat was packing up to go home, so was PJ. Chris had somehow achieved an early acceptance letter to the University of Cambridge so he could pursue his dreams of becoming a doctor earlier than he'd expected. I guess they'd liked his grades and all the advanced classes he'd taken, and the constant praise he received from everyone must have had some assistance. It was very impressive; we were all really happy for him.

Of course, everyone had gifted things to sift through over spring break, as a goodbye in case of the rare chance we never saw each other again. I hoped that would never happen, but I had the feeling in my chest that we might go our separate ways one day. It wouldn't be soon, thankfully.

We had all made an agreement to still stay in contact though; we crossed our hearts and hoped to die on it.

The bus jolted to life and sputtered off campus, the exhaust clouding the back window so I wasn't able to watch as 3/4ths of the school year faded in the distance. And by the time I glanced back not even a minute later, it was pitch black outside, from the sudden rain, exhaust smoke, and the time of day. Because of course the bus to take us home had to break down and stall everyone for a couple hours, and by then it had started raining.

I grabbed the package Cat had given me first, wrapped in nice paper from a decorating store with a tiny card with 'Philly' written across it attached to the top. It was much more formal than I'd expected from the girl that I had traded strange looks with while in nothing but some boxer shorts and the fluffy reindeer socks Chris had given us.

Underneath the paper was a nice black and white picture with a frame that metaphorically had Cat written all over it. It wasn't a Polaroid like I'd expected it to be, but a simple photograph of all 5 of us at the start of the year, a picture I'd forgotten was taken. Our smiles were frozen behind the glass, arms draped over each other's shoulders and we all looked... happy. The card was written neater than I'd expected it to be:

Dear Phil,

I'm very glad I was given the privilege to have met you, let alone be associated with you up until we part our ways, which I hope will not be as soon as it appears. I will be returning to Seacoast after this break, as will PJ, and I do wish to see you there. It's alright if you don't come back though. PJ and I both understand.

I thought I was going to write more in here about how much of a great person you are, but I'm pretty sure you're already aware of that Well, I'll just get to some details I meant to include.

I really think he loved you. I really did. You know what, I still do believe so. Present tense seems more appropriate in this situation. And I hope you never forget that that night wasn't your fault; I know you've been beating yourself up over it recently. You really shouldn't be.