Thirty Reasons Not to Date a Player

23. He's Oblivious To Your Feelings

Rachel pulls me aside at the beginning of seventh period on Tuesday. "I need to talk to you," she says, with a seriousness in her voice that I find unusual. 

"Okay, sure." I have lunch now so I have no excuse to blow her off. Plus, I'm kind of curious as to what she has to say. 

She leads me to an empty corner in the hallway where we get some privacy.

"Promise you won't be angry at me," she begs, "or at least, not too angry." 

What could I possibly be mad about? My stomach ties in knots, but I decide that I just want to get this conversation over with. "Just spit it out," I sigh, "I'll get over it." 

"I told you something I shouldn't have," Rachel admits, nervously biting her bottom lip. "About Ryder." 

Figures. 

"When I said that he and Nicolette were still having sex, I might have exaggerated a bit," she continues, sounding timid.  

"A bit?" I ask, not completely sure what she's getting at. 

"They did see each other over the summer, that part was true, but I think they were just hanging out. Like, in a friend way." 

"Okay..." I say hesitantly. "So they weren't sleeping together?" 

"They weren't." I breathe a sigh of relief. "But I don't think he actually likes her. They're just...friends. Complicated friends, but they're not dating, or anything."

"Then why did you lie to me?" I ask, my eyebrows crinkling. 

"I prefer the term exaggerate," she muses. But realizing that she didn't actually answer my question, Rachel skids her shoe across the polished floor. "I didn't want you to like him." 

"Big shocker there," I groan sarcastically.

"I know you probably think I'm a jerk, but my best friends always end up leaving me for my step-brother," she explains. "That's why me and April don't get along. We used to be close, but once she started dating Ryder, we just...drifted apart." 

That explains a lot, but I had no idea that she and Rachel were even friends to start with. Maybe I don't know April as well as I think I do. 

"I guess I see where you're coming from," I comment, "but...why are you telling me this now?" 

"Because," she raises her pointer finger, "I realized how miserable you and Ryder are without each other." 

I want to laugh at her comment about me being "miserable" because I think it's all so melodramatic. I'm not miserable. 

"You guys got into a fight yesterday, didn't you?" Rachel asks suddenly.

I cringe. "How did you find out about that?" 

"So you guys did have a fight," she smiles mischievously, "Ryder's been walking around with a dark cloud above his head since yesterday. And you aren't doing much better yourself." 

I hadn't noticed. Ryder didn't come to AP Lit this morning and that's virtually the only class we have in common. Did he really skip class to avoid me? 

"Actually I'm fine," I say aloud. "Ryder doesn't control me."

"Maybe not," Rachel notes, "but you control him." 

I open my mouth to respond but no words come out.

"He really likes you, AJ," Rachel tells me, "So you have to decide want to do about it." 

*

I anxiously await the end of my ninth period class, watching the second hand on the clock tick ever so slowly. Each minute is like an eternity and my stomach feels queasy with anxiety. I'm not sure how much longer I can take this.