Thirty Reasons Not to Date a Player

26. He's Irresistible

"What?" Ryder asks, clearly not comprehending the full meaning of my statement. 

I shake my head slightly. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"You're giving me a chance to take it back," I say, "and I really just need to be honest with you 'cause I won't have the confidence to do it later."

He blinks a couple of times, urging me to continue.

"My friends would probably kill me for saying this," I babble. "Your friends would probably kill me for saying this." 

"AJ..."

"But I'm going to tell you anyway because you have the right to know."

"AJ-"

"And I shouldn't have lied in the first place but I thought it was the right thing to do. Except I've realized that right is a relative term. And what's right for someone else is not necessarily right for—"

"AJ!" Ryder cuts me off, "What is it?"

I know it's cruel to keep him in the dark like this. But articulating the words proves to be harder than I had anticipated.

"I lied," I say dumbly, "about a lot of things."

"You said that already."

I open my mouth once, only to close it again. Ryder raises his eyebrows at me, obviously expecting some sort of explanation. Any second now he'll lose his patience and walk right out of here. Maybe that's what I'm hoping for.

"I know. I just—"

"Talk to me," Ryder demands, placing a hand on my knee. I don't know if it's meant to be comforting or assertive, but I feel a jolt of electricity run up my thigh. "Please." His voice is softer, but somehow more effective. 

"You asked me if I felt anything before," I recall, the words rushing out all at once, "...and I do."

My heart pounds in my chest as I wait for Ryder's response, but he only glances back and forth between me and the floor, the side of his mouth twitching slightly. I press one of my hands against my cheek, suddenly growing hot with embarrassment.

I contemplate making a run for the exit when, finally, Ryder's voice fills the agonizing silence.

"Then why did you reject me?"

"I was scared," I admit, my voice shaky with nerves.

His eyes narrow with confusion. "Of what?"

"Of everything! The drama, the rumors, what my friends would think—there's so much to be afraid of."

"Then why are you telling me this?"

My eyes glace down at his lips before they dart back up to his vibrant green eyes. They glisten slightly in the dim light.

"Because I was wrong."

And in a fleeting moment of insanity, I reach up and press my lips against his. He tenses up slightly at my sudden advance, but he doesn't resist. I can feel the stubble along his jaw line beneath my fingertips and the faint scent of his cologne washes over me. The sensation is so unfamiliar and so thrilling at the same time. 

How had I been so able to push him away before?

But instead of giving into the moment like I hoped he would, Ryder captures my wrists in his hands and slowly pulls away. "Are you sure?" he murmurs, his eyes piercing into mine.

The words have barely left his lips when I pull him into another kiss. This time it's more forceful—desperate, even.

Because I don't think I've ever been more certain about anything my entire life.