My REAL Lifetime Movie

Sheltered For Now

We was able to scrap up enough money to buy us a couple of nights at the motel and during those two nights, we got enough to catch the whole week. This allowed us more time to figure out our next steps while also sleeping comfortably and being able to shower without paying someone and being made to feel like we was a huge burden on them. It was nice but my babies was still missing. Other than the depression hitting home on my heart and mind, it did feel so much better to be sleeping without one eye open, sweating and feeling like your body was being slammed by a truck. I was keeping my mind on the next week at the motel. Trying to figure out how we could keep it from week to week, while waiting on the apartment and working every day. I had the weekend from work to finally relax a little except our second night, I get a horrible toothache, out of nowhere. Usually when this happens, it goes away but this time it wasn't going away. By that night, one side of my face was swollen up and I couldn't eat or drink. I realized, I have got to go to the dentist and get this tooth pulled but what about work? I couldn't risk losing this job when I had just gotten it. No matter what I was doing, it wasn't going away. On Monday morning, I walked over to my job and discussed what was happening and they could see for themselves right away. He told me that there was no way I could go into work that way and that it needed to be fixed. The man offered to give me time off of work to take care of my tooth and also to knock out some appointments that are apart of my case plan, so I don't have to worry about being late to work. I was so relieved to work for someone understanding enough. I didn't want to take too much time off though, because that's money I am not making. I will admit that the time off was nice. I hadn't got to relax or sit still in awhile so I took advantage of it. I got into the dentist and was prescribed strong antibiotics to clear the infection before they could pull the tooth, so I was looking at a week before I could have that done. So, I relaxed, stared at my babies pictures every day, prayed to God alot and sit, writing in my notebook. I was able to take care of a couple appointments and also get into a new doctor that I had to see for counseling, required by the case worker. My fiance wasn't having good luck on his job, though. His paycheck the first time was "late" and due to the payroll lady not being in the office, they mailed the check out. This was putting us back into a hole and by the time he found out they mailed it to the wrong address, they already owed him two checks. While trying to get his money that he worked hard for every day, my dentist appointment gets rescheduled because of my insurance. Now what? I'm now pushed back on work and money, he's not getting paid his money, so naturally I don't think he should continue to go into that job unless he's getting paid, so he starts off to find another one. Now, we're back into the days of scraping money here and there, barely keeping our motel room and we can't get ahold of the lady with the apartments, no matter how many voicemails are left, visits aren't happening with the babies because everyone is working and there's no other transportation and we have the social worker constantly on us about making sure to keep up with things that's out of our control right now. I can feel the stress through my whole body and it's making me physically ill. I have to say that even though this whole thing was complete bullshit and I was lied on one hundred percent by the social worker, I am happy that my dad and step mom are the ones taking care of my babies right now. I know it's extremely hard on them and that makes me much more grateful. My kids never had a relationship with them and didn't know who they was before and now they do. It's not under good circumstances but atleast now they have grandparents who I know they love and adore. They're taking great care of my babies, the right way. They way I would and always have and I know no one else would ever be able to give them the love and attention. I'll never be able to thank them enough when this is all over so I hope they know if not for them I would never be able to have the strength to keep going knowing my kids was in the system with strangers. As of now, I'm coming into October. I still have my job, my fiance is working happily with a roofing company and we're still working our case plan and staying in a motel. I hope and pray we're not too far from the apartment but all I can do is pray. We go back to court in the middle of November and I don't know what will happen but if we have the place and they still try to hold my kids, I will be putting up a fight. You have to fight when it's your babies involved and You know you're a great parent, doing nothing wrong and the best place for them to be is with their parents. I plan in coming into the court room prepared for a fight. I have had neighbors that truly didn't deserve to have their children because of drugs and violence being more important to them and I've been to court to hear their cases, hearing they get to keep their children while working with social workers. That isn't fair at all and I plan to take that stand and fight.