Facets of Fate

Chapter 3: Realization

The first time Xiao Zhan realized he loves Yibo more than a friend was when they were fourteen. It was the day when Xiao Zhan felt particularly unlucky, being late first thing in the morning and finding his painting ripped to shreds inside the Art Classroom. He didn't know who did it but he remembered how angry and upset he was.

He even skipped all of his classes and begged at the School Nurse to let him hide in the Infirmary. At first, the nurse told him no but when he saw the other looking like he was about to cry, he gave up and told him to take the bed at the end of the room.

At that time, he cried silently and wished Yibo was there beside him. He remembered wanting to see him, to talk to him, to tell him everything, and to have the other comfort him just by being there. It was his wishful thinking but when their break came, Yibo magically found him huddled on the last bed inside the infirmary, depressed, and drawing circles on the wall with his fingers.

He was sad, but when he saw Yibo worriedly asking him what's wrong made him feel a whole lot better already.

The smaller teen didn't attend his classes, much to the annoyance of the school nurse, and they had a long talk about what made Xiao Zhan skip his classes when he rarely does. Yibo got so angry that time that he was about to go out and make a mess on the Art Class but Xiao Zhan calmed him down.

That's when a thought as natural as his instincts whispered, 'Ahh...I really love him.'

»»————-　♡　————-««

He feels like he's suddenly choking at what Yibo said, every word echoing in his head and mocking him. His fingers trembled, clutching the juice pouch the other had just given him as he opens his mouth to say something.

"Can you repeat that again...?"

He tried to act normal but his voice came unusually higher than normal, a thing that only happens whenever he feels like his breath is hitching. No way that this is the truth, maybe Yibo is bluffing? Haha, he got him good this time.

Yibo repeated, "Yu Bin is my soulmate."

Xiao Zhan nods, swallowing the lump that appeared in his throat out of nowhere, and waited for the smaller man to crack a grin. To say that he was joking but when none came, the slightly taller man felt his heart freeze.

"...really? Is it really him?" Xiao Zhan asked, not looking at Yibo and lips twitching to form a forced smile. Xiao Zhan was told he was good at acting, this talent sure gives him an advantage at this time.

Yibo didn't seem like he noticed the sudden drop in Xiao Zhan's aura, nodding and sighing at his best friend's reaction.

Xiao Zhan brightens up, a mantra playing in his head and telling him to act normal, to congratulate the other, and be happy for him. He slaps Yibo's back, smile really wide that it looked like he was really happy at the news he just got.

"Wow, Bo-di! You really are lucky! Congratulations!" Yibo was older but this was like their little game, calling each other teachers or reversing their age difference, and Xiao Zhan doesn't want the other to know that he was really saddened more than happy at the news.

"What, you're envious?" Yibo asked before he directed a smirk at him, shaking his head and chugging another fizzy drink.

Xiao Zhan nodded, dropping his head low for a while before beaming again, "Yeah! Man, I hope I turn eighteen soon so I can meet mine too. I bet they will be really lovely."

Yibo snorted, "Lovely? I doubt that."

Xiao Zhan smacks his arm and glared, "Do you have any problem?"

Yibo laughs and turns his gaze to the crowd of people on the other side of the room, blatantly stealing a glance at a giggling Yu Bin.

"I bet I'm the only one who can tolerate your habitual smacking. If your soulmate finds you, they would cry at the fact that their soulmate turned out to be someone like you."

Xiao Zhan's eyes fluttered close, taking a deep breath before he opens them again, eyes downcasted on the floor and unable to look at the adoring eyes of Yibo staring at another man.

"Yeah, I think so too." He mutters, smiling sadly.

At the words he uttered, Yibo turned his attention back to him again. Xiao Zhan knows the other was surprised at what he said, expecting a series of hits from the taller man but what he got instead was agreement.

"Xiao Zhan?"

Xiao Zhan shakes his head and puts down the juice pouch, standing and not looking at Yibo.

"Sorry, I'm probably drunk."

Yibo stands too, worried and patting his shoulder, squeezing just a bit, "Xiao Zha–"

"Yibo."

Yibo paused, a crease appearing between his eyebrows as he tilts his head in confusion. Xiao Zhan forced the last bright smile he could muster at the other, "I'll be going home."

Yibo was puzzled at his sudden declaration, "Wait, let me go together with you. You're drunk, it would be bad if you go home alone."

Xiao Zhan was about to refuse him but their friends decided it was a good time to finally talk to them. They suddenly swarmed them, some are drunk and some are just amused, and following the drunken ones.

"Hey, Yibo, Zhan! Come on, what are you doing here? Join us!"

Xiao Zhan watched as Yu Bin slings an arm around Yibo's shoulder, before he sends them an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, I need to go home."

Yibo looks like he still wanted to accompany him home but Xiao Zhan smiles at him and tells him to enjoy the party.

He didn't wait for the other's reply before he gets his phone on the small table in front of the couch and hastily leaving the place. Their friends bid him goodbye and to take care but Xiao Zhan...he didn't turn back nor did he say goodbye, afraid that they will see the tears now rolling down his cheeks.

Once he was out and a few meters away from the place, he wiped his continously flowing tears with his hands.

"I knew it was stupid to hope." He muttered, voice cracking because of the pain inside his chest.

He just wondered how he will face him tomorrow.