Torn between Dreams and Reality

Chapter 4

"Ahh," I sat up with a gasp, panting really hard, trying to catch my breath.

"Hey, Claire? Are you okay?" Conrad asked, looking slightly confused but worriedly at me.

I took my time and tried to focus on my surrounding.

"How—how did I get here?" I asked. We were back on the footpath where I met him.

"What do you mean?"

"What... happened to me?" I asked, feeling like my head was tied down with a heavy rock.

"You were staring at a point like it was something big, with shocked expressions. I didn't get why you just stopped and stared but then I saw a car coming your way and you didn't bother moving aside so I ended up pulling you back. Right after thanking me, you turned to leave but fainted. You've been out for about...... fifteen minutes."

Just a dream, Astrid. It was just a dream.
Was it?

"Hey, Astrid? Do you want a—"

"Ride back home?" I completed for him, "Yeah, that would be great thanks."

*

"Wow, your house hasn't—"

"Changed at all?"

"Uh, yeah. How did you know I was gonna say that?"

I shrugged, looking side-ways. "Just a guess. Besides you have photographic memory, once a thing crosses your eyes, they remember, just like taking a picture."

He snickered a little. "Well, you know a lot about me. Isn't it weird though? I still remember you from nursery. You were—"

"A little sparkly-eyed girl who couldn't stop jumping with excitement. You were so optimistic, so. . . happy. But now... I'm not. I'm different from what I used to be." I finished just after I had scanned my whole backyard.
There was no tree.

I was filling a glass with juice for Conrad when he spoke up, "Wow, you never seize to amaze me, Éclair's."

My movement halted all of a sudden as his words passed through me. His smile disappeared when he noticed my stiffness; how I bit my lip to hold back my sob, how my eyes turned blood-shot.

I didn't want this. I didn't want to be seen weak in his eyes... or anyone else's. and I felt like I was crying for the stupidest reason but... he used my nick name, something only Leo would call me...

And it hurt, it hurt so bad; like I was struck with an arrow and then someone pulled it out, making more bloodshed.

"Oh, Claire, I-I'm so sorry. I forgot about- about..."

"How Leo forgot about me when I needed him the most. How everything reminds me of him. How weak I am to cry over a foolish nick name."

There was a long pause when Conrad decided to speak up. "I tried... I knew how much he meant to you; he was the only thing keeping you sane... I tried. I saw—scratch that, everyone saw how you changed in days. I wanted to make you happy again but...... he just didn't want that. He chose his own path. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. And you're not weak."

"Yeah, sure. How long do you want to stay here?" I asked bluntly.

His eyes were wide at my straightforwardness but he didn't mind it. "I'll leave as soon as you answer my question: why are you so paranoid?"

"Well, I-uh... well, it's just... I can't tell you." I gave up, letting my head hang down.

"Yes, you can. You just need to try."

"Ugh, I don't know how I'm supposed to tell you?"

"With your mouth."

"Conrad!"

"Okay, okay, I was just trying to lighten your mood. Besides, it's always easier to talk to someone and since I'm the only one here, you might as well spill the beans."

"You'll think I'm crazy..."

"That, I already do. But I don't think that's bad."

I looked up at him as his something stirred in his eyes of steel. I saw through them clearly.

He was making me see it... his determination to know, his intentness to make me tell him.

I looked down at my hands and sighed. He wasn't going to let me off that easy. "I saw stuff... in my dreams. They looked so real. They were there and I could feel their presence. I felt so lost and confused, nothing made sense to me."

"Claire, things like this happen to people. Dreams feeling too real, feeling confused when you wake up because you don't remember if it was really a dream or something that actually happened. It's okay to feel scared and lost, trust me."

"But I saw this day, I saw you in my dream. That was why I knew what you were going to say, I saw all of it."

"It's nothing to be worried about. It's just dejhavue. It mostly happens when people are exhausted or restless."

I stayed silent for some time. Of course, what was I thinking, that he would get me? That he would understand? Of course, he won't.

Conrad decided to leave then. I couldn't help but feel a little pissed.

I opened the door for him. The Sun was setting and the sky was deep orange.

Conrad head out towards his car.

I followed my gaze until he reached it but then my eyes trailed to my neighbour in front. The old man was so heart-broken since his wife died so he spent most of his time in his garden, watering the plants because his wife loved it.

"Well then, I'll see you tomorrow at school, Claire," I heard Conrad say.

But I didn't pay attention, just pinched my arm to check if I was awake. I tilted my head, moving my gaze from my neighbour to the plant he was watering.

"Claire, is something wrong?"

I moved my shaky hand towards my neighbour who tilted his head towards me and smiled. Conrad looked at him too and then back at me with confused expressions.

"Don't you see it? Don't you see the—the tree?" I asked.

"Uh, no. Are-are you okay?"

I shook my head with eyes wide open when Conrad got out of his car and walked towards me, clutching my fore-arms and shaking me lightly.

But I couldn't move my gaze away from the tree.

"I-I've seen it... I've seen it Conrad! I've seen it in my dreams! And I still see it!"