After a tragic past, Claire Elric is left alone in this world to fight against her mind and screaming thoughts, especially after her best friend, Leo, decides not to remember her and start a new life in which she is just a girl who studies in the sa...
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"You—You remember. . . everything?"
I couldn't breathe, holding my breath till he nodded a yes. I felt torn. I had been trying to move on from everything related to him, to let it just be a memory. But it stuck to me like a needle that had pricked my foot, reminding me that I couldn't take a step forward without it hurting.
Leo took a step forward, unsure of what I'd do next. I let out a deep breath, letting the stone stuck in my throat swallow down. Something didn't feel right, something just felt so out of place but I could put my finger on, couldn't tell what it was or what was happening.
"Everything?"
He nodded. "Yes, Claire. Everything. I remember every-single-thing that I had forgotten. I don't know how but I just—it just came back to me—like, all of a sudden. And I . . . . . . just wanted to rush and see you here. That was all I could think of. I mean, my parents, my cousins and all got to be a part of my life just because they're family but—you are family too. And I guess, that wasn't taken on account for when I had to move on."
My thoughts were vivid and my breaths were uneven. I didn't cry, I couldn't just do it. Not even when two arms wrapped around me into a tight hug, holding me close to a chest that had a beating heart in it.
It was real.
But it felt wrong. So, so wrong that I just couldn't accept it. I pushed myself away from Leo's grasp, breathing heavily as I stumbled to stand on my own.
"Éclair..." he whispered, his hand reaching out for me.
"No!" I shrieked, covering my face with my trembling arms. "No..."
I clutched my chest where my heart was, its tightening hurting me. A rushed past Leo without making any eye contact. I needed to find Conrad before I lost it.
"He left."
I stopped. I turned around to see Leo looking devastated. "Who?"
"Conrad. You said that out loud, Claire, but. . . I saw him leaving. I saw him walk out of the carnival when I was entering."
I shook my head, not ready to accept the fact that he would do such a thing. So, I kept walking, going to different places, getting lost and finding my way again. I went to every stall, leaving my feet numb and my back aching but he was nowhere.
Conrad was gone. That was all that was repeating in my mind.
I couldn't understand why but a feeling of betrayal and humiliation flooded me. I just couldn't accept it even though it was true.
Leaning on my weak knees as they touched the ground, I let the tears stream down as I covered my face with my hands. I didn't care how many people stared at me as I cried, I just wanted the headaches to stop. I didn't want to feel betrayed. It reminded me why I never made friends, why I tried to stay away from people and not get too close to them.
A hand gently patted my shoulder. Looking up, I saw Leo's hazel eyes staring sympathetically at me.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"For what?" I bit out, not wanting to sound harsh as I turned my gaze from him.
"I don't know, many things, I guess. It's been so many years, Éclair. I must have made you feel like an outcast. I wish I hadn't—"
"This isn't about me, not right now," I cut in. it was about Conrad, about him leaving. Why?
It didn't feel right. I kept repeating that in my mind. It wasn't like Conrad to leave me like this, not after everything we've been through—together.
The storm in me was rising again, the bitterness and hopelessness taking over again. The memories and the dreams were circling like a tornado inside me. The aching pain in my temples increasing as I clutched them. It was becoming unbearable, my lungs ripping as a scream erupting through my throat.
The wind around me turning harsh and cold, making the tents sway heavily against its motion. The sky was covered with dark clouds, thunder cracking above.
"Claire..." "Claire..." "Claire..."
I heard my name being chanted repeatedly. Why was it in Conrad's voice? He left. He left. He left!
I opened my tear-filled eyes, my blurry vision showing me—not a boy with flame-like hair—but a boy with platinum blonde hair, his steel drawn eyes staring intently into my night-blue ones.
And then I saw spots covering my vision. Dark spots that grew larger, steeling my sight from me and then letting me drawn into the bottomless pit of my dreams.
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I dreamt of Conrad.
I dreamt of him trying to wake me up, trying to call people to help him. I dreamt of him holding the tickets to the Ferris-wheel. I dreamt of him as if he hadn't left.
I woke up gasping, the sheet covering my body making me feel hot. Back in my own room, I felt unsafe, feeling as if everything was wrong.
The desk was there in its place, my schoolbag hanging to the chair. A vase with flowers sitting on my window. Everything was in its place, nothing out of the ordinary. Wrong!
That's how everything felt.
The doorknob to my bedroom turned, and in came someone I hadn't known for three years—Leo, wearing his oh-so-familiar smile that used to make my day.
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