Rumours

Dreams

"Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself, it's only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams"

For as long as she could remember, Cordelia had always wanted to be a mother, despite the poor relationship she had with her own. Maybe that was a driving force behind it, maybe it was just the innate motherly instinct she had always possessed. Her and Hank had tried and failed over and over. Although each time Cordelia felt a certain sadness of not being able to have a child, there was almost always a sense relief that would accompany it. She could never quite put her finger on why she had the feeling of relief, although if it was what she suspected it was it was something she couldn't admit to herself.

Her appointment with Hank was early the next day, forcing Cordelia to push her thoughts aside and try and get some rest. Hank was still out of town on some job. As bad as she felt she rarely paid attention to what he was doing. There was a point in time she had thought she was madly in love with him, marrying him as quickly as she could, at first she thought it was for herself but as she grew with age, and with Hank, she felt more and more it was to defile her mother. She was happy enough to get by, and with Hank often out of town for work it definitely made it easier on her.

Cordelia finds herself dreaming of an unknown place that feels eerily familiar. Not somewhere she has been but somewhere she has seen, or is meant to see. She hears a gasp and a figure emerges from the muddy water that surrounds her. As she looks closer, she sees that the figure is Misty. Not the young Misty she had loved in her youth but the one she had seen photos of on the news. Whatever was happening was in the present, Cordelia could feel it. She rarely had dreams like these but when she did, she knew they were some sort of message to her. Although in a dream she couldn't help but cry seeing that Misty was indeed alive.

The heel of her shoes tapped anxiously on the sterile floors of her OBG/YN's office. It was a nervousness that never eased, no matter how frequently she found herself here. Hank had made it in time, and did his best to soothe her but to no avail. She was in her own world, thinking of her dream the night before.

She couldn't remember the last time she had thought about Misty. She had done her best to continue without her after they had been forced apart, but it seemed she had been creeping into her mind more and more.

~ Then ~

"You ever think about what you'll do after this?" Misty lay on Cordelia's bed staring up at the ceiling as Cordelia finished tidying her room.

"What like when we leave the Coven?"

"Well, yeah. You want a regular life? Y'know, white picket fences and two point five kids or whatever the hell it is."

"I've always wanted to be a mother. I don't think I care too much where I go as long as I'm able to have a family of my own."

"I think you'd be a great mom, definitely better than the two we got stuck with."

"What about you? You ever think about that stuff?" Cordelia asked.

"I don't know, the whole thing kind of scares me. I guess if I was with someone who knew what they were doing I'd feel a little different."

"I feel like you'd be the cool mom and I'd be the strict mom."

"I didn't want to say anything." Misty chuckled at Cordelia's remark.

"Well, there should always be one of each, you can't just let them do whatever they want."

"You can't always get mad at them for stupid shit either, they are just kids y'know."

"Oh, I can only imagine what it'd be like raising a kid with you." Cordelia joked, suddenly becoming aware of how fast her heart began to beat. "You'd be the mom who gets high with her kids."

"At least I'd know they'd be getting the good shit." Misty bantered back, rolling onto her stomach to face Cordelia. "Whoever ends up with you as a mom is gonna be one lucky kid. You'll be twice the mom Fiona ever was to you."

"What did you wanna do today? Classes are done aren't they?" Cordelia smiled at Misty's comment but was quick to change the subject. Something about their conversation made her feel like she never had before, and it was scaring her. Misty was her friend, right?

"Whatever you wanna do baby." Misty smirked at Cordelia as she spoke.

~Now~

She can't have children. Cordelia couldn't believe what she was hearing. She felt like her body was betraying her, something she had wanted and craved for so long she now found was hopeless, medically speaking. She was wary with the idea of using magic, and even though it seemed like Hank would support her with her decision, it felt like nothing would work. Maybe it was her, maybe her body knew it wasn't meant to father any child of Hank's. The latter was how she had been feeling lately but she refused to let herself believe that was how she felt. A divorce would be messy. She could be happy enough to stay, couldn't she?

She did her best to settle in for the night, alone once again. She hadn't wanted Hank to stay on her account and felt she needed to be alone to process everything. She drifted off to sleep and found herself in the presence of Misty once again.

This dream was unlike the one from the night before, it was hazy and bright compared to her last which had been darker and much more vivid. She could see Misty around the corner, out on the porch of the academy. Her voice was high as she urged someone forward. As Cordelia turned the corner she saw Misty crouched to the ground, eye level with a little blonde toddler who had the same eyes as Misty. She continued to urge the little girl forward, the small child babbling as she attempted to step forward, falling into Misty's arms as she stumbled after her first step. Misty giggled excitedly, picking up the little girl and twirling her around in the air, stopping as she spots Cordelia on the other end of the porch.

"Tell me you saw that!" Misty rushed over, the little girl immediately reaching for Cordelia. "Tell me you saw our little girls first step."