Horizons of Love✓

Part 17

Dekh Mujhe Toh Tarq-e-Talluq Ke Baawzood;
Woh Muskura Diya Ye Hunar Bhi Usi Ka Tha!

Arnav was very happy. She had smiled at him after so many months. It soothed his restless mind. He was going in right direction. He realised 'pyar ko sirf pyar se nibhaya jaata hai'.(Love flourishes only with love).  Only after this whole fiasco he understood that he had overestimated his understanding of her feelings, thoughts. He didnt knew her enough. He had made many assumptions in their relationship and the role of his heinous sins need not be mentioned,he thought shamefully. But a progress was made today and he was very happy about it. He didnt know that first few drops of rain are scorched in the burning heat of the land...nothing remains of them.

Next morning, Khushi remembered what all happened last night and she was angry with herself. What was wrong with her? She couldn't possibly soften towards him and unfortunately the '500 rupees bill', that she had got laminated and kept in her bag, fell down, very cruelly reminding her of the ground realities.

*********************

Arnav as usual followed her to the school in car and today when she saw him while entering school, her already bad mood, worsened and she missed a boulder in her way and almost tripped over it. Arnav who was already near her, rushed to help her. But Khushi shrugged his hand off her shoulder.

"Khushi dammit!!  Why wont you allow me to take care of you? Abhi tumhe kuch ho jaata to? Tum kyun itni zid kar rahi ho? Please let me take care of you." Arnav was very angry at her carelessness.(Khushi dammit!! Why wont you allow me to take care of you? What if something wrong had happened to you? Stop being so stubborn. Please let me take care of you.)

She pulled out the same 500 rupees bill from her purse and waved it at him. "Iske baad aapko lagta hai humein aapse baat bhi karni chahiye? Aapki taraf dekhna bhi chahiye?" ("After this should I even look at you leave aside the talking part?" )

Arnav who couldn't get head and tail of what she was saying was just about to nod blindly when it dawned upon him that it is the same note he had thrown at her, when she had come to his office. He tried to take that filthy thing off her hand but she didn't allow.

The timing was worst. He felt like dying out of shame. Wish he could go back in time and remove all his disgusting deeds from their relationship. Had he behaved like a human, they would not be here, arguing in front of a school. They would have been happy like yesterday night. Would have been fighting over names of their baby. 

It would have been fun...bantering over girl or boy. How he would have pampered her! She would have driven him mad with her cravings, tantrums. It would have been fun riling her up about her growing size. They would have been so happy. She wouldn't be so aloof and he...forget it. 

It was their first pregnancy. Jackpot moments of a couple. They could have enjoyed it thoroughly in their choti si duniya.(Our little world). Had he allowed her to speak in his office, tell him about their first pregnancy, instead of raining abuses like a first grade bast**d... 

Par jab apne ghar mein aag khud lagayi ho...khud apna ashiyaan jalaya ho...khud hi apna tamasha banaya ho to kya kare? Apni galtiyon ki sazaa kise dein? Kaise keh dein haan sab accha hai.(But what can one do when he has  burnt his home with his own hands...turned his dreams to ashes...ridiculed his own life...all by himself? You cant go punishing others for your mistakes. You cant say 'all is well' when deep inside you know nothing is right. )

**************************

Khushi knew what he is going through. His expressions screamed his pain clearly, unlike ever before. She was one emotional person and couldn't help but sigh deeply at his defeated, tormented face...but she couldn't empathize with him. She couldn't relieve him from this pain. They were done for good. She was tired of telling him same thing again and again. How to make him realize that they were over? All his efforts are useless.