Jesse ( Still holding on to each other) - So you know, I'm taking Rain's offer!
Mr. Cailman - Yeah, which is?
Jesse - Divorce crazy-ass Lydia, move in here, and have both you and Hannah!
Mr. Cailman - Fine by me!
( The barn door creeks, they jump apart, Hannah walks in)
Hannah - What is fine, by you?
Mr. Cailman - Uh...
Kacey - ( Walking in) - They screwed!
Hannah - Kacey Jesse James Campbell!
Kacey - ( Smiling) - What? They did, go smell the weight room!
Mr. Cailman - How do you know that was us, maybe you and the other four were in there before you left or maybe even a few minutes ago?
Kacey - Besides the defensiveness, uh, how about you go a giant smile that won't go away, and so does my dad?
Mr. Cailman - Okay, so it's true, you got four guys!
Jesse - Alright, alright, what I said Hannah is basically, I will divorce crazy Lydia, move in here, and have the both of you, then Kyle said fine by me, is that okay with you?
Hannah - Rain, go in with the guys, let's step in front of the barn!
Jesse - And why is that?
Hannah - Because, if we don't, your son will eavesdrop!
Jesse - ( Now in front of the barn) - Okay, well?
Hannah - (Watching Kacey walk inside) - We could do that!
Mr. Cailman - Sounds good to me!
Jesse - Alright, let's go to Boston tomorrow, a take care of that!
Hannah - You staying tonight, Jesse?
Jesse - Of course!
( They went to bed, at 10 a.m. they got up, headed for Boston, once there Ryan, Justin, Aaron, and Randy came out, as Jesse stepped out of his 1980's limousine, while Hannah and the others waited inside it)
Jesse - Hey guys, where are the girls?
Ryan - Every single one of them went over to the mall, they have been since it opened today, where they are every day!
( They all laughed)
Jesse - Sometimes whether in the house or out here, there are hidden ears!
Randy - ( Sings exactly like the song, by Spandau Ballet) - I Know this much is true!
Aaron, Ryan, Justin, and Jesse - (Chime in) - This much is tru-ue!
Mr. Cailman - ( Gets out) - Spandau Ballet, huh? Wow, there's a great oldie!
Ryan - Hey, watch it, Kyle, we're not that old, yet!
Mr. Cailman - Okay, so you stay in the '80s, while the rest of us are here in the new millennium! However, still a great oldie!
Ryan - Whatever, FBer!
Mr. Cailman - What the hell is that?
Jesse - Football player!
Mr. Cailman - O-kay!
Randy - Why is he here?
Jesse - Okay, so I didn't go to Florida, I went to Iowa!
Ryan - Why?
Jesse - ( Holding his hand out slightly motioning it, as if he were a game show hostess) - I got to fuck Kyle Cailman, here!
Aaron - No way, no you didn't!
Jesse - (Nodding his head) - Oh yeah, I did!
Randy - Okay, say we believe that, what now?
Jesse - I divorce that crazy-ass, move into their mansion in CR, living happily ever after, what'd you think?
Ryan - So, if I divorce Becka, can I go too?
Jesse - You actually gay or bi?
Ryan - No, do I have to be?
Jesse - No, but you don't have to get a divorce, just cause I am!
Ryan - No, but she's just as crazy as Lydia, also do you think for one moment, that if we stayed together, she wouldn't bring Lydia in the house?
Jesse - ( Seeing eye to eye, with Ryan) - Good point! If y'all want to, it's fine with me, the more the merrier!
( Jesse grabbed Kyle, kissing him hard, as the guys whistled and howled)
Randy - I know we may have tried it with you at one point, but you wanna stay that way, you're on your own with that! We'd still love you as our brother though!
Jesse - ( Breaking from the kiss) - Kinda like Freddy Mercury, huh?
Ryan - ( Laughing) - Something like that doof-ball!
Justin - ( As Hannah gets out) - Hey, that's Hannah?
Jesse - Yeah and?
Aaron - What about her, aren't you two together?
Mr. Cailman - We're a tripod!
Hannah - More like a quad squad!
Mr. Cailman - A what?
Hannah - ( Points to the car at the gate) - See that car there?
Ryan - Yeah!
Hannah - That's my girlfriend!
Ryan - Jess, you hold out!
Randy - You never told us that!
Jesse - I didn't even know that! When did that take place, Hannah?
Hannah - It was like 6 years ago!
Jesse - That explains it, kinda!
Hannah - Does she have to stay on that side of the gate?
Jesse - ( Opens the gate with the opener) - Not at all!
( The car come in behind Jesse's limousine, out steps a modernistic, wavey haired brunette, made up beautifully as well as classy)
Hannah - Everyone this is Kirsten!
Everyone - Hi, Kirsten!
Kirsten - How's it goin'?
Ryan - So, Hannah says your her woman!
Hannah - Amazing pussy eater!
Kirsten - ( Smiles, goes to light a cigarette, lifting it) - I ain't denying that! Does anyone mind?
Jesse - ( Lighting his own smoke) - Actually we'll have one with you, well, I will anyway
( They all light their smokes, moving everything out of the house, except the girls' things, everyone but the Rockette members left taking all that was moved out, the five guys went to the courthouse, for some extra money they got their divorces finalized that same moment, they went to the mall, found the girls)
Jesse - Y'all wanna come home?
Lydia - No, what for?
Jesse - Because, what we have to say, I doubt you want it done here!
Lydia - What is it Jesse, we're busy?
Jesse - Okay, but don't say I didn't warn ya!
( The store's clerk finished ringing up the items)
Jessica (Clerk) - That's $6,452.97!
(Lydia handed her the credit card)
Lydia - Jesse, what do you want?
Jessica ( Clerk) - Ma'am?
Lydia - Can't you see, I'm talking to my husband? Just wrap it up, okay!
Jessica ( Clerk) - I can't just wrap it up, ma'am, this card was declined, do you have another card or another form of payment?
Lydia - What do you mean, it's declined?
YOU ARE READING
Short Stories By : Tina Dittmar
RomanceThe Way I figure it...When I wrote these stories, I couldn't find many out there, I had friends who were of this nature...the stories I did find on the subject were touch and go's ( touch the subject, then move on)...so I wrote these stories for tho...
