Minor Concerns

Chapter Four: Societal Pressures

Stereotypes. Fun, aren't they? This is the last stage of pressures that we face, and to be honest, it's the biggest one. I get it. Bias, first impressions, whatever. But that doesn't mean you can shove people into a box and say it's acceptable. Cram every single person into a perfect cookie cutter set by those who came before them. 

No. 

This is not okay. 

You're Asian? Why do you have an A-, are you retarded?

You're European? Where's your Starbucks, trash?

You're African, how come you have freaking glasses?

You like keeping up with trends? Why are you so basic?

You don't like keeping up with trends? Why are you so lame?

You're straight? You homophobic hater, gross.

You're not straight? You're a sinner. 

You're proud of yourself? You're so self-absorbed. 

You hate yourself? Why do you want the attention?

You get the idea. 

Your current author is Raileo, and to no one's surprise, I've gotten my fair share of stereotypes. Now again, I don't speak for the rest of MinorlyConcerned, nor the rest of the people who may be similar to me. I speak only in the hopes that something I write may resonate within one of you guys, the readers, and perhaps even help you along the way. So let's take a look at society, shall we?

I'm expected to be perfect, a model student, a champion debater. As a result? I went to a national level tournament for speech and debate, and I felt like I was going insane when I was over there. We went with a team of about 15 and all of the parents would swarm me whenever I got out of a round. Shoving papers in my face, screaming at my results, even pushing me around when I got a lower score. Mind you, this was the first time I had even qualified for this competition and these people weren't even my parents. They were practically strangers. I ended up placing sixth in the entire nation, but on awards night, I heard one of the parents whisper "Why didn't she get first?". I was heartbroken enough already, I had tortured myself enough in the past couple weeks, unable to eat or drink much before or during the 4-day competition. I was weak, malnourished, tired, and even worse, I hated myself. I hated myself because I got 6th. I wasn't good enough for them, was I? 

The month following our flight home was the worst. I didn't sleep, I didn't eat, I couldn't even look at the trophy I got without getting overwhelmed by a sense of despair. In the darkness of the expectations I was placed under, I convinced myself that society was right. Everything under first is a failure. 

What I learned from this was that I'm quick to fall under societal pressures. That those around me shouldn't define what I failed at. If I am constantly compared to first place, then I will always be the loser. If I saw it as a learning opportunity, then I would grow as a person, rather than be chained down by standards I couldn't live up to quite yet.

But, obviously, I'm not the only one who had to do this. I think Sonny would like to put a word in. 

Hey y'all, my job is to help you connect with first impressions a little more. When people first look at me bent over a thick book, I'm supposed to be a mild, studious, anti-social nerd. I'm supposed to get a hundred percent on every test, and suck up to the teacher. I'm supposed to raise my hand every time a question is asked, and never talk to anyone except the other kids who play cards when they're allowed to play video games. I'm supposed to wear glasses and eat dogs.

That's probably enough.

The point is, first impressions are very important, and they affect both how you view people, and how others view you. When you take a glance at a person without hearing them talk, you can extract many things, both truthful and not. Now, I got a few words of wisdom for you. Never ever talk to someone based on what you think they are. 

Sure, if you see someone playing a certain video game, you can ask if they enjoy it. But if you watch another person fooling around with a calculator, that doesn't necessarily mean that you can assume that they find math fun. 

Time to move onto a few more sensitive aspects now. Latino kids aren't stupid. Asians don't eat canines. Americans don't have to be athletic. They might be, but they don't have to. Just because they belong to a certain race, gender, family, or other doesn't mean that you can guess what they do and who you are.

Let's go back to me, for example. That "know-it-all, silent person" sitting behind that book earned a 75 percent on their last math test and regularly gets in trouble for talking too much in class. Now, some of those earlier inferences are true: I do play cards when I could be gaming, and I am a nerd. However, those are two out of the nine assumptions I mentioned. I hope that it's obvious to you now that you should never judge a person based on stereotypes. 

You can hurt that person, and in turn, you might feel guilty and overanalyze your regret on what you've done. 

"Hey, what book is that?"

"Is your favorite band the one on your shirt?"

"You play trombone, don't you?"

Ask a person about their interests. Not what other people think their interests are.

Adíos,

MinorlyConcerned