Look Me In The Eyes [BxB]

Chapter Two

Jamie and I stopped by a couple more clothing outlets before we decided to head to my house and change. On the way home, we stopped and got some Wendy's.

"What do you want?" Jamie asked, turning down the radio as we pulled up to the menu.

"Uh," I began, not looking up from my phone. James had been texting me nonstop since our encounter at the store.

'hey uh would you ever wanna see a movie?'

I could feel a blush creeping up my neck as I read his text. I was such a sap. I never got this kind of attention growing up. I wasn't ugly or disfigured; I was just never the most attractive. I wasn't short but I wasn't tall either; I stood at a measly 5'8, with light brown hair. I didn't have much muscle but I wasn't the skinniest. I was just okay and nobody, male or female, thought I was enough. I pushed my thoughts of self-ridicule out of my head. It was just astounding to me that a boy as handsome as James would even notice me, let alone try to talk to me.

Jamie cleared her throat. I clicked my phone off and focused my attention on the menu.

"I'll just get a large fry and Dr. Pepper."

Jamie spoke our orders into the speaker and we pulled around to the window. We got our food and Jamie got back on the road. I dug into my fries and passed Jamie her food. My phone buzzed and I realized that I had forgotten to respond to James' message.

'sorry if thats too forward'

I quickly typed an apology, leaving small, greasy fingerprints on my screen as I typed.

'no ur good lol. my bad i was getting food. the movies is cool'

After a minute or so, I felt my phone buzz again.

'bet. how about tn?'

I groaned inwardly. If only I didn't have to go to this stupid party.

'i cant tn. i made plans.'

James replied right away, sending a pouting emoji and his condolences. I grinned and put my phone away, returning to my fries.
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"So who's had your attention all afternoon?" Jamie asked as we pulled into my driveway.

I tried to play off my surprise but I knew that the red had already spread to my ears as I gave Jamie a sheepish grin.

"Don't play dumb" She reiterated.

I wasn't out to anyone besides Jamie and my mom. Not that that kind of thing mattered in Seranton. Unless you were popular or a gossip, most of the time your business remained your own. I was fortunate enough to escape any kind of bullying for my sexuality though both Jamie and my mom loved questioning me about my sexual escapades. Well more so, the lack thereof.

"No one" I replied cheekily. I quickly hopped out of the car and grabbed my bags as well as Jamie's.

"I am such a gentleman" I thought as I hurried into the house.

I greeted my mom as I ran up the stairs. I set our bags and flopped on my bed, trying my best to ignore my pounding heart. I didn't want to talk about James with Jamie. We'd just met and I felt like Jamie would push me to pursue James. Jamie had good intentions but I didn't want her advice to ruin my one shot at love.

"Maybe some pushing is what you need. He obviously wants to get to know you."

I sighed at my thoughts. This was new to me. And what if James just wanted to take things slow. Or what if he just wanted to get to know me.

"Or if he thinks you're an easy lay"

I shuddered as my subconscious recalled the only other time a boy had shown me as much attention as James.

His name was Simon and he was a senior during my freshman year. He sat next to me in my statistics class and always asked for my help with the classwork. As an innocent and awkward freshman, having someone as confident and kind (or so I thought) as Simon speak praises on you meant everything. I helped him with the stats classwork everyday and after a week m, I invited Simon over to do homework. It was on a Friday night that he grabbed my thigh and said he was ready to take our "friendship" to the next level. I tried to shrug him off but he ended up pinning me down and kissing my neck. All the while I meekly begged him to stop because I didn't want to wake my mom. I ended up bursting into tears.

Simon climbed off of me, grabbed his things, and rushed out of the door. I got a text the next morning that if I spoke to him again, he'd really give me a reason to cry. Long story short, I ended up getting a new seat in stats. Like I said, unless you're popular, and I obviously wasn't, your business remains your own. I didn't tell Jamie or my mom.

My eyes started to sting at the memory. Being used hurt. Since then, I'd remained a loner though I had never really been social. My circle consisted of Jamie and my mom. I rolled over and groaned into my pillow. I heard my door open and turned over to see Jamie walk over to my bed, coming to sit beside me.

"Boy trouble?" She asked knowingly.

I sighed and sat up. The setting sun cast a dramatic light in my room. It was as if the universe knew exactly how I was feeling. I got up and began rummaging through the clothes we'd bought.

"Let's just get dressed" I said.