AM13 Outbreak Shorts

One Year On - Twenty Nine (Benji)

Benji

I throw my arm casually around Rachael's shoulder and chuckle as I watch her popping two pills this time around. She has gotten to that point now where she needs more to get that same high, she's chasing the dragon and she can't stop. It doesn't even matter that she won't ever catch it again, nothing is like that very first high, but she will keep on trying as they all do.

Some would say she's in hook, line, and sinker.

Her eyes are dead as they meet mine, and I'm not surprised. During this journey with me, she has lost herself, just like we all do. What made her the person that she once was has vanished into thin air and now she is all about this. Hanging around, screwing around, searching for an escape from this reality, because anything is preferable to this life.

"Look around us," I say to all the faces around me, some I recognize, some I don't. "It's awful, isn't it? No one dies anymore. At least not right away. There are monsters everywhere which leaves us stuck in between these walls. We should all just...leave, don't you think? Get out there and just enjoy life. Because this is killing us. Slowly but surely."

"We'll die if we go out there," Rachael replies, all monotone. "It's pointless."

"So what? We're dying in here too. What does it matter?"

"You want to give up the little empire that you have here?"

She isn't saying that with any sarcasm, but I can pretty much feel it anyway. That's spicy, I kinda like it, and to be honest she's right. I don't want to give up what I have here. My little empire has put me in much more power than I ever could've hoped for before the end of the world. In a way, this is good for me. Even if it's irritating.

"Nah, I don't." I roll my eyes. "At least we have a way to escape."

"I might need another one." Rachael turns to give me a dead eyed look. "Those two weren't enough." She starts scratching at her arms which is a sign that she might be about to freak out. I take my arm away because I do not have time for that. It happens sometimes with these junkies, and it isn't what I'm here for. "Benji, I think I need one now."

"Er, right..." I rise to my feet and back slowly away. I'm not the only one to notice because a couple of the other guys do the same thing. "I will just go and get that one for you."

I don't even feel like an asshole when I turn and walk away from her, leaving her to the meltdown on her own, because as far as I'm concerned, she knew what she was getting into. Everybody does. The first time they touch drugs they know what it will do to them, how they'll end up. That isn't my responsibility, she needs to sort herself out.

I'm out.