Siren

Heartache

Tears were streaming down my face as my body shook with sobs. Evan's arms were wrapped tightly around my torso, the warmth of his body was like a security blanket as he held me tight against him. My cheek was pressed against his chest and my tears soaked through his shirt, but still he held me, rocking me softly side to side from our position on the floor.

"Shhh, I've got you." He whispered softly in my ear.

I tried to stop my crying, but it was impossible. My heart was aching, and my mind was racing, it was as if it was playing through every moment that I'd spent with Sean, taunting me with the knowledge that it was all at the end now. The thought of having to break it all off with him, sent me into a whole new wave of sobs.

I must have cried myself to sleep at some point. I woke up hours later, back in my bed, still wrapped in Evan's arms. It was dark outside, and my eyes were dry and puffy from the tears, they felt so heavy that I couldn't keep them open and I felt so drained and tired. I shuffled even closer to Evan, my cheek resting against a cooler part of the pillow, and drifted back to sleep.

By the time I woke again, the sun was up, faded light was shining through my curtains and casting a pale glow across the room.

"Hey." Evan whispered.

I looked up at him, blinking a couple of times to rid my eyes of the dry and sleepy haze. He was looking down at me affectionately. His hand reached up and tucked my hair from my face.

"Hey." I replied, my voice was croaky and lacked any kind of emotion.

"You know what I've been thinking?"

I shook my head in response.

"If Mel has a nice shiner for work this morning. I mean it was a nice punch."

I smiled back at him, a small laugh following with it.

"That's my girl." Evan smirked, with a small wink.

He always did know how to make me smile. Even in a situation like this, he had a natural ability to shine a light in my darkest moments. He was the most amazing man I'd ever known, and he was the best friend you could ever ask for. He pulled me into his arms, cradling me against his chest.

"What do you say we go and get a cup of coffee? Or something stronger, I mean it's five o'clock somewhere right."

I let out a little laugh again and replied, my voice a low rumble against his body.

"Okay."

It suddenly dawned on me that I was meant to be at work today too, I jolted up in bed, turning my clock to face me and gasping as I saw the time.

"Shit, it's half eleven, I was meant to be at work hou-"

"Whoa," Evan sat up, reaching out and clasping my arms, "It's sorted, I called them last night, told them you weren't well and that you'd need a few days or so, don't worry."

Relief flooded through me, I was glad that I didn't have to go through the day at work, pretending everything was okay, and planning other people's celebrations, weddings and parties.

"How about you go for a shower, I'll go and put the kettle on."

I didn't feel much like doing anything, but I nodded my head and walked into the bathroom.

Stepping under the water, I closed my eyes, letting the hot droplets rain down over my skin. I stayed in the shower longer than I normally would. Savouring the refreshing feeling of the heated water, as it eased away the tiredness I felt. When I finally climbed out, I wrapped a towel around me and quickly dried and dressed myself, then joined Evan in the kitchen.

"Feeling any better?" Evan asked, sliding a steaming mug of coffee towards me.

"A bit."

I wrapped my fingers around the mug, it's searing heat seemed to further burn more feeling into my body. Evan sat on a stool next to me, he nudged me lightly.

"Don't let her do this to you, we'll figure something out."

I didn't look up from my coffee, it's black liquid seemed to match the colour of my mood right now.

"How? There's no way around it, you heard her, I do as she says, or Sean will pay the price."

My voice quivered, and my eyes stung as tears threatened to fall again.

"I don't know when she became such a bitch." Evan sighed, his irritation made clear as he forcefully put his mug back on the counter.

"Neither do I, but it doesn't matter, I can't do it to him Ev. I can't stand the thought of losing him, but the thought of him losing everything, that's even harder."

He reached out, laying a hand on my forearm, it was a small thing, but the comfort was there and it gave me strength.

"How am I supposed to tell him I don't want to be with him? It's literally all that I want."

"I don't know Rox, but I can promise you, I'll be right here the whole time. You're not alone."

I turned to face him, the promise was clear on his face. The tender look in his eyes nearly broke me. Suddenly I was seeing double as tears pooled in my eyes and began to flow once more.

"I think I love him Evan."

It was something that I'd been thinking for a little while now. The more time that I'd been spending with him, the stronger my feelings for him became. I wanted to see him and kiss him whenever we were apart. When we were together, I felt complete, satisfied, I never wanted to let him go. I nearly let it slip when we sat watching the fireworks that evening. But I held back. I didn't want to tell him something so big whilst there was still all this drama surrounding Mel and the wedding.

He didn't waste a second, holding me in his arms and gently stroking my hair.

"I bet you're sick of me crying by now." I muttered, harshly rubbing the tears from my cheeks. "This isn't me, well it wasn't."

"There's nothing wrong with being upset, and I would never get sick of any side of you. You're my best mate Rox. I just wish I could fix this for you."

For a while we just stayed in silence.

"I guess I have to get it over with." I shrugged sadly.

I took out my phone, my hands were shaking as I pulled up his number. I knew I wouldn't be able to speak if I called him, so instead, I tapped out a text, my heart breaking more and more with each letter that appeared on my screen.

Can we meet up? The park, same place as before, 3pm x