Outcast

3 -Ripping

I sit up in my bed and rub my eyes. I look around the room to realize I'm awake. Then I sigh to myself.

Time to start another day of hell.

I stand up and walk to my bathroom, brushing my teeth. I comb my short light brown hair and get dressed in my usual dark blue hoodie and jeans. I slip on my usual pair of converse and grab my backpack as I'm walking out the door.

I walk along the cold sidewalk, feeling the cool air against my face.

It's not as windy as yesterday.

I start to daydream about the girl I drew. What if she was real?

Maybe she would be my friend.
Who am I kidding?
Nobody wants to be my friend.

I eventually see the bricked sidewalk in my field of vision, signaling I've arrived at the hellhole that is Westward High. I walk through the big front doors with my head down, trying so hard not to be seen. I hear a few people start to whisper behind me, so I start to walk faster.

When I reach my locker, I look at my phone and realize I'm early. I put my stuff away as quiet as I can, and head to the library since I have nowhere else to go. I'm not just gonna sit by my locker and look even more pathetic. As I'm looking at my feet, I feel a body brush up against me.

"Oh, I um, s-sorry," I stutter.

"Uh, it's okay," I hear a male voice say.

That's not just any voice.

I look up and I'm met with the face of Daniel Rider. One of the most popular people in the school. Every girl falls for him eventually, but I never did. I made sure of that. Besides, I'm not a girl, completely.
I quickly realize I shouldn't be talking to one of the populars, so move out of his way and continue my fast walk to the library.
I go in and sit down on the maroon chairs. I don't see Ms. Lauren, so I take out my sketchbook.

I just couldn't leave you at home.

I take it out and flip through the pages. I start to take out a pencil, until I hear the first bell ring.

———
After my third hour class, I head to the library for lunch as usual. As I'm walking out of class though, I hear that familiar, demonic laugh.

"Hey freak!" I hear Ashley yell.

I turn my head, not daring to disobey her. But I don't look up.

"What's this?" She asks. I feel her yank my sketchbook out of my hands.

"I, uh, it's nothing!" I say panicking. I finally lift up my head to face her.

"Oh really? Well, why don't we have a look inside?" She asks, opening it up.

Nonono this can't be happening.

"Look at these! They're all so weird," she says.

I feel anger build up inside me. She turns from page to page. All of my drawings that I draw when I'm anxious, or depressed. They're all being revealed to her right now.

"Who's this? Your imaginary friend?" She says turning to the girl I drew.

"No," I say.

"Then I guess you don't need it then."

"W-What?" I stutter.

She rips out the page from the book. I stare at the girl as the picture falls to the ground.

"Or this." She rips another.

"Or this." Another.

"Or this," She says, dropping the book to the ground.

I hear her walk away with her friends, laughing. I feel myself fall to my knees and try to collect all the pages. The tears in my eyes build up.

"Hey, do you want some help with that?" I hear that familiar male voice ask.

I look up to see Daniel again.

"I, n-no! I-I'm okay," I say.

I don't want any more people to see what a weirdo I am.

"Uh, okay," He says hesitantly. I hear him walk away.

I quickly collect the pages and my sketchbook. I stuff them in my binder and practically run to the library.

I see Ms. Lauren in her usual chair, on the computer.

"Ms. Lauren!" I shout.

Her head bolts up with a smile, but it quickly fades when she sees the tears in my eyes.

"Jamie, what's wrong honey?" She asks me.

"A-Ashley ripped, and t-then I tried to c-collect these, a-and then I s-saw Daniel-" I try to talk why sobbing, but I'm stopped when Ms. Jamie quiets me.

"Let's just come to my office and sort this out, okay?" She asks, putting her wrinkled hand on my shoulder.

"O-okay."

Why is she even better than my own mom?

I walk into her office and sit down. She pushed a tissue box towards me, and I take one gratefully.

"Calm down. Explain to me what happened."

"S-So Ashley was w-waiting for me outside of the c-classroom. Then s-she ripped a lot of pages out of my s-sketchbook, and then Daniel t-tried to help me, but I said no and ran off," I explain to her while sniffling.

"I see. Does stuff like this happen everyday?" She asks.

"Not to this extent. It's usually just a push and shove, and maybe a bit of humiliation," I say.

"Should I talk to the principal about this behavior?"

"No! That'll only make it worse," I say.

"But if you're getting hurt, that could lead to serious consequences for them," she explains.

"But then they'll only harass me more."

"Okay. But I'll be here whenever you need to talk. And if you want me to go to the principal, I will."

"Thank you," I say.

I do my best to eat my lunch. Even though Ms. Lauren is an older woman, she's kinder than anyone in this school.

I stare at the ripped pages in my binder, then I notice the picture of the girl.

I knew I should've left my sketchbook at home.