Outcast

4 -Dodgeballs

*Mentions of self harm*

     When school ends, I start to walk out of the big school doors. The cold air brushes up against my face as I walk.

"Uh, Hey," I hear someone say. I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I quickly turn around to see none other than Daniel Rider.

Why is he talking to me of all people?

"H-hi," I stutter. Part of it wants me to believe it's the cold, but I can't deny that he is handsome.

"Umm, are you okay? Earlier, I saw you running and I was just wondering-" he cuts himself off, his voice fading away.

"Y-Yeah, I'm perfectly fine," I say, forcing a small smile onto my face.

"Alright I guess."

I start to walk away, and my feet gradually move faster and faster. Pretty soon, I realize I'm running home.
I run into the house, and thankfully nobody sees me walk in. I run upstairs to my room and throw myself on my bed. I sob into my pillow and sheets.

What did I even do?

I yank out my binder and forcefully open it. I look at all the ripped out pages from my sketchbook. I remember exactly the way I drew each and every one of them. I even wrote the date and the name on the back. I flip them over one by one.

8/26/19
"The mystery"

9/1/19
"Eye see you"

9/6/19
"Darkness"

10/14/19
"The friend that could be"

She ripped out the newest ones. There's at least five pages that were torn out. I pick up the picture of the girl.

You.

I suddenly rip the page in half and watch at the pieces drift down to the bedsheets.

It wouldn't have been ripped if you didn't exist.
If I didn't bring my sketchbook to school.
If I didn't exist.

I fall onto my bed and cry. I feel the tears soak into my bed. I feel myself get up and open my bedside drawer. I slam my sketchbook and the ripped pages into it. I take the page I ripped and shove it to the back. I close it shut, and stand up.
I glance over to the bathroom.

Maybe I could-

My thoughts are cut off my a stinging in my arm. I curse under my breath, and realize the cuts are still raw. I was gripping onto my arm. I sit back down to realize, I only cut when I'm numb. But I'm not numb right now.

I'm filled with pain.

———

As I walk into school the next day, I make sure not to come early. I walk over to my locker, and see Daniel.

His locker is almost right by mine?

He's digging in his locker that's one over from mine.

I guess he's looking for something.

"Hello, again," I hear him say, not looking at me.

"Uh, hi," I say hesitantly.

I put away my stuff and head to class once I hear the first bell. I look behind me to see him following me.

"Uh, why are you following me?" I ask paranoid.

"We have the same class together.." he says.

"O-oh, right," I say.