Outcast

8 -Rainbows

*You should know the sad mentions by now*

As I wait in the nurses office for Bella to wake up, the nurse tries to ask me what happened.

"I can't help her if you don't tell me," she says.

"I think it's better for her to tell you," I say trying to avoid the question.

We wait until I see her eyes open a bit.

"Jamie? Where am I? I thought we were in the hall?" Bella says quietly.

"You passed out. I carried you here," I say.

"Sorry if I was heavy. I've been trying to lose weight," she says.

"You weren't heavy at all."

The nurse walks back in and rushes over.

"Ms. Canon, would you mind telling me what happened to you and your friend here?" She asks.

I wonder what she means, until I look over into a nearby mirror. There's a scratch or two on my face from her nails. My head is pounding from it being slammed against a locker.

Bella stays silent.

We both know what'll happen if we tell.

"Alright, I guess I'll just have to call your parents," the nurse says.

"Wait! Please don't, I'll tell you anything!" Bella quickly sits up.

I stare at Bella, her eyes widened with fear.

"Okay then. Why were you passed out in the hall?" She asks again.

"Somebody came up and pushed Jamie against a locker. While doing so, they pushed me behind them onto the floor, and I hit my head. Then I woke up here," she says.

"Who was this person?"

"We can't say. Otherwise, they'll come back and torture us more," I say looking down.

"Well, all I can do is fix you up if you won't tell me anything," the nurse says.

She gets us some medication for our pounding headaches, and some ice packs for our bruises. I don't let her check me very much, in fear of her finding my arms.
We stay there for about half an hour, completely missing our lunch period.

Hopefully Ms. Lauren doesn't mind.

We leave and head to our next classes. I go throughout the day looking like I just got ran over by a truck. Nobody seems to care though. Except Daniel.
He keeps looking at me. I don't know if I like it, or if it's just uncomfortable.

He probably suspects something.

As my last class draws nearer, Daniel keeps getting closer and closer to me. I sit next to Bella in our final class.

"Have you been getting weird looks all day?" She asks.

"Not really. But Daniel is getting really close to me all of a sudden," I say.

"People have been looking at me strangely for the rest of the day. Do you think Ashley told them something? Or maybe they saw the whole thing?" She asks paranoid.

"I didn't see anyone else in the hallway, but I could be wrong."

Class starts and I try my best to avoid Ashley's glances. I stick a note inside a pencil and hand it to Bella.

"Cafe after school? Check 'yes' or 'no.'

She unfolds it and smiles. Bella hands the pencil and note back to me. I unfold it to see the 'yes' box check marked. I smile and nod to her.

As we head to our lockers, I start to notice the weird looks. I keep walking with Bella and it's not just her. I'm also getting the looks. I turn the corner, and see our lockers in the distance. But something is different. I can distinctly make out which locker is mine from a distance. I walk closer to realize why I got the weird looks.
Taped on my locker are a bunch of rainbow stickers and the words 'faggot' and 'sinner.' I look over to Bella's to see the same thing.
We look to each other, sadly. I suddenly rip off the tape and everything on my locker except for a single rainbow. I hear Bella follow my lead. The paper falls to the ground as I get my stuff. The people in the hallway stare in disbelief. I close my locker and grab the paper. I throw it in the recycling bin.

"Gotta recycle it at least," I say to Bella.

Then we walk on our merry way to the Artsy Cafe.

———

"Who do you think did it?" Bella asks.

"Anyone at this point. I'm guessing it's not just Ashley who knows at this point," I say sipping on my usual coffee drink.

"Why were you so calm while tearing the stuff down?" She asks.

"Actually, I don't know. I guess seeing you by my side made it better," I say smiling.

"Yeah, it did," Bella agrees.

We keep drinking our usuals, just talking about random stuff. What we wanna do with our lives, people we wanna meet, who we could marry. Then Daniel comes up in conversation.

"Dude, if he saw what Ashley did to you, he'd beat her up!" Bella says.

"No he wouldn't, and keep your voice down! People could hear you," I say giggling.

"He totally would. Have you seen the way he's been looking at you?" She continues.

"N-no. It's just a n-normal glance," I say, a slight blush creeping onto my cheeks.

"Somebody's lying," She says, stretching out her words.

"N-no I'm not!" I say defensively.

"Yes you are. I've already noticed you either stutter when you're shy, scared, nervous, or lying. You're probably all four," Bella says confidently.

"Okay, okay, maybe I've noticed a little bit. But it probably doesn't mean anything," I say looking down.

"There's definitely a connection. One of you are gonna have to make a move eventually," she says.

"Yeah, whatever," I say rolling my eyes.

As we leave and walk home together, I see that it's about 5:00.

We were there for almost 2 hours? I guess time flies.

I walk into my house, prepared for the worst. As I walk in, I see that nobody's in the kitchen or living room.

I guess they're all in their rooms.

I walk up to my room and sit on my bed. I roll up the sleeves on my arms, and stare at the semi-new cuts. Then I stare at the bathroom door.

Maybe...things will be better now.
But I shouldn't get my hopes up.

I roll down my sleeves.

I don't want this life anymore.

I walk over to my windowsill.

But what life do I want?

I stare at the free birds soaring in the sky and landing in the trees.

Do I even want a life?

Yes.
No.
Maybe?
At least I have Bella with me.

I wonder why she had bruises all over her...
I guess it's not my place to know.

But I'm gonna be there for her anyway.

We all have our dark places.