Some Thoughts.

Untitled story part

I hate my family. So, so much.

I'm sorry your head is attached to your body,
They said.
Grow up please!
They said.
I'm better that you,
That said.
I don't care,
They said.
You're... Beautiful...?
They said.
Go away!
They said.
I wish you were never born!
They said.
You're an accident,
They said.
Stop being so overemotional,
They said.

I'm sorry I'm not dead.
I'm sorry I'm myself.
I'm sorry you're all that.
I'm sorry I care too much.
I'm sorry I'm ugly.
I'm sorry I'm still here.
I'm sorry I was here at all.
I'm sorry I wasn't meant to be here.
I'm sorry I have emotions, unlike you.

Today was literally the worst. I was already having a bad day when we started dinner. My mom noticed I had been crying. You'd think she'd be sympathetic, right? No. "Stop being so overemotional!" Her exact words. So during dinner I tell a fake story about my day, because I'm not about to tell them how terrible I feel. So my younger sister groaned and said "shut up! Nobody cares, Nat." (Which wouldn't be such a problem if I hadn't groaned at her story yesterday, not even a nobody cares or a shut up, just a groan, and got smacked across the mouth for it.) My older sister nodded in agreement. None got in trouble. So, with tears in my eyes because I'm an overemotional dumbass, I left the table, closed my room door behind me, and sat on my bed crying. Again I'm way too overemotional, but to be fair this has happened all my life and I'm more than done with it. But that's not all! "Get your ass back over here!" My dad yelled. So, me being a petty bitch, I sarcastically smiled while walking over there. "Yes?" I said. My mother looks me in the eyes. "Why would you do that!?" I tell her how done I am the my sisters can get away with everything and me? Nothing. That earns me more yelling. "Yeah right! You're the first to complain, to argue, to be a baby and cry. I have never been this disrespected in my life. Go to your room." I gladly went to my room.

It's not like it's that bad, but imagine that every day, 24/7, for 13 years. It hurts.

And the only reason they had my younger sister was so that the majority of their children weren't accidents. They hated me then, too.