Some Thoughts.

nobody cares

Nobody cares.

They never cared. They never do. I don't give a shit what they say, they know it's true.

I can't anymore. I'm done with people. I'm done with caring. I have given far too many shits about people who don't about me. Again, I'm done.

Wow, I feel so selfish.

I have no clue who the fuck I can trust. I think I can two people.

But I don't really know.

I'm never noticed, never acknowledged. Hardly spoken to unless someone wants to complain.

(Again, selfish and attention seeking I know. Shut up. I don't need your opinion on this.)

I'm done with not fitting in anywhere I go. Home, school. Not even with the people I call friends. They only hang out with me because I'm gay.

It's taken too long to accept that. But then again, nobody cares if I do or don't.

Why should I? Why do I care about things? Why can't I just be a normal, happy person. Why did it happen to be that I got sucked into the black hole I did without even meaning to? Why am I still here? I shouldn't be here. Everything feels so wrong. Or maybe that's just me. Maybe, I'm just the mistake.

I'd never admit it in person.. but seeing my friends laugh and joke around and have fun hurts. I guess it's a jealousy thing? I dunno. I just sit there and watch them knowing I could never be that way. Never be that close. Never be that fun.

Whenever I say I'm fine only one person questions it. Thanks man. I think you're a real friend. I hope so. You're (so far) the only person in the past two weeks has gotten a real smile out of me.

Sorry you had to waste your time reading that. If you care anyway.