Back to Me (Camila/You)

11

Your POV

I groaned as I tilted my head back, shutting the computer that was on my lap. I was sitting on the couch in my living room finishing a little bit of work, or at least I was trying to. I couldn't concentrate right now.

Honestly, I hadn't been able to concentrate for the past couple of days. Ever since everything went down between Lauren and I, my thoughts had been all over the place.

I don't blame Lauren at all, and if I'm being completely honest I don't really regret what happened. The reason my thoughts had been scattered was that ever since Lauren and I had sex I seriously couldn't stop thinking about Camila, which made absolutely no sense.

I almost felt like I had cheated on her, which was ridiculous because we hadn't been together, or even seen each other in months. I didn't know how to get this girl out of my fucking head and it was killing me.

My eyes shot open when there was a knock on my door. I got up to go see who it was, knowing was most likely Emma or Veronica. I only ever talk to them or Lauren and I knew Lauren was busy in the studio today.

"Hey, bitch," Emma spoke whenever I opened the door before letting herself in.

"Hey," I said, shutting the door and making my way back over to the couch.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she sat across from me. "You look frustrated. Is school getting the best of you?"

"No. I finished pretty much everything I needed to do for my classes," I told her as I put my laptop on the coffee table.

"Then why do you look like someone ran over your dog?"

"Wow. Could you be a little more forward next time? I don't think that was good enough," I said with small laugh.

"Hey, I'm just being honest," she said, putting her hands up in defense. "What's wrong?"

"Take a wild guess," I mumbled, running a hand through my hair and shutting my eyes as I leaned backward.

"Seriously?" Emma asked, hitting me with a pillow.

"Hey!" I said, grabbing it and hitting her back. "It's not my fault."

"Then whose fault is it?"

"Hers," I mumbled, crossing my arms.

"Don't tell me you two met up again," Emma said with squinted eyes.

"No," I started immediately. "I haven't seen her in months, actually. I was with Lauren the other day and... things happened. Now I can't-"

"Wait," Emma cut me off. "Lauren... Jauregui?"

"Yea," I confirmed.

"When the fuck did that happen?" She asked. "Wait. You two fucked?"

"Can you shut up?" I asked her, making her roll her eyes. "Yes, I was with Lauren. Yes, we fucked. Now can I continue?"

"Sure, but I'm going to need more details on that one later," Emma said, and this time I was the one rolling my eyes.

"The problem is ever since that happened I haven't been able to stop thinking about Camila," I explained. "I fucking miss her, Emma."

My voice cracked and Emma's eyes softened before she stood up to come sit next to me. She let me melt into her as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

"It's like this every time I try to move on with someone else. Whenever Veronica was showing interest in me I shut it down because I couldn't stop thinking about her. Now I get with Lauren and the entire time I was with her I couldn't stop wishing it was Camila instead."

"Y/n..." Emma trailed off as she rubbed my back.

"I know. Okay, I know it's fucked up," I said, shaking my head.

"No. Look it's not your fault," Emma cleared up. "Listen, I still keep in touch with Camila-"

"You what?" I cut her off, leaning back to meet her eyes.

"Shut up," she said, pulling me back into her before continuing. "I still talk to her and she's hurting just as bad about this whole situation."

"She is?" I asked, the ball of hope in my chest beginning to glimmer a little.

"Slow down," Emma warned. "Listen, what I'm trying to say is that if you are serious about not being able to get her out of your head then you should seriously think about reaching out. You two might be able to sit down and have an actual conversation about this."

"A conversation about getting back together or a conversation for closure?" I asked her as I played with the hem of my shirt.

"You need to figure that out on your own. That's why I said you need to think about this."

I nodded, understanding that I seriously needed to think about all of this before I made any drastic decisions.

"Want to watch a movie?" Emma asked me.

"Yea, sure," I answered, but I knew I wouldn't be able to pay attention with all of the thoughts flying around in my head.