"I-I Cant tell you on the phone." I sighed.
"Youre going to tell me?" He asks, sounding a little happier.
"I guess, now get your arse over here," I hang up and stand, going to find some ibuprofen for my headache.
I swallow the 2 small pills and chase them down with some water.
My eyes close asi lean against the counter.
Before i know it, i drift off.
-
"Alli,"
I jump and almost scream, falling off the counter.
"Shit" LUke mutters, catching me.
Good news is, my headache is gone.
"thanks," I mummer, scrambling away from him.
Luke is wearing the same thing as earlier, but he didnt bother to fix his hair because its still pouring.
He nods.
"Lets go to my room." I say, guiding him up the stairs.
We sit on my bed and a let a breath out.
"It started when i was 3. My dad got into drugs and drinking. He would always lash out on me. A few times, he even hit me. He was always mad at me. When i was 5, i became mute. My father always yelled at me for talking so i decided i just wouldnt say anything. In kindergarten, i met Lily. She kind of helped me. My dad was the same until i was 14. Then, he started to hurt me worse. Hitting me. He broke a bottle over my head once. My mom kicked him out and said not to come back until he was sober and clean of drugs. He was gone. I was fatherless for 2 years. I fell into depression. I started to hear voices in my head. They were whispers. Like conversations all around me. It used to get so bad id be rocking back and forth in a corner, screaming at them to go away.
"They got louder over the course of 4 months. On my 17t birthday, my mom decided she had enough and took me to the hospital. They diagnosed me with depressiona and anxiety and anarexia. I was so skinny, Luke. Unhealty. tghey couldnt figure out the cause of the voices. I heard them talking about it. But they told me with was because og the depression. I wasnt stupid. I thought i was going crazy. I started to will them away. The conversations all of them had were in some foriegn language. I have to take 6 pills every single day. Just for the depression. Every type of medicine they could think of.
"A couple of times in my 17th year, the medicine gave me horrible seizures. But they just changed the amount of them. I also have to take pills for my anarexia and my anxiety. Thats why i have bad trust issues. Last year, my 18th birthday, my father showed up at my door. He looked so much beter. He was shaven and healthy looking. It was back to normal. But my depression and everything didnt go away.
"Im so scared of him. Of any guys when they get mad. When they yell. Im so scared. Im afriad he will go back, Luke. I cry a lot. No one but Lily knows. Ive mastered fake happiness so noone guesses. Im scared you will hurt me. You could so easily hurt me. Hit me. Break me. Im scared you will decide im not worth it and leave me. I cant deal with anything else. I just cant."
By now, im sobbing uncontrolably. My arms were clutched aroun d my knees.
Luke is silent.
"you think im crazy. The voices only come back when a guy is screaming at me or when i forget to take my medicine," I cry.
"You arent crazy," He says, finally. "i understand. Dont cry."
Luke put his arm around me. I flinched.
Flinched.
"Hey, its okay. I wont hurt you, Alli," He soothes, arm hovering close to me.
I look up at him, tears were welled in his eyes, he looked hurt.
Without thinking, i throw myself onto him and sob into him.
I cry too much around this boy.
And i dont think a lot around this boy.
Luke's arms wrap tightly around me.
Making me feel safe. Protected.
"I wont ever hurt you. None of this is your fault. Its okay. Im here for you. I wont leave. I love you." HE crys as his hands undoubtably leave bruises on my sides where he is cluching me to him.
I bet my hands will leave bruises on his biceps.
Surprisingly, Luke is the first guy ive ever felt safe around. Ever felt protected around.
"I love you, too, Luke," My sobs get quieter. "Dont leave me tonight." I Whisper.
"Wouldn dream of it," He whispers back.
And there, in Luke Hemmings' arms, i fall asleep for the 2nd time. Or was it the third time?
Who knew.
WELL
NOW YOU KNOW HER PAST
AND NO, THEY ARENT DATING.
"THEN WHY HAVE THEY KISSES AND SAID I LOVE YOU?"
FUCK YOU. STFU.
ITS MY BOOK.
HEHE. I LOVE YOU GUYS.
COMMENT AND VOTE
POINT OUT ERRORS
LOVE YA
BYEEEEE
