(🏹) ✔️ 𝓼𝓾𝓷𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓮-ONE SHOTS!

0.11

Sunshine-
Richie Tozier Makes a Discovery!
[0.11]
[ TRIGGER WARNING ; homophobia (outer & internalized), homophobic slurs ]

Fighting. F-I-G-H-T-I-N-G. One word, two syllables. Google defines it as, "displaying or engaging in violence, combat, or aggression."

Gay. G-A-Y. One word, one syllable. Wentworth Tozier's worst nightmare. Google defines it as, "(of a person) homosexual (used especially of a man)."

Maggie and Wentworth Tozier were fighting (having an argument is better wording, richie). About Richie Tozier. If he was gay. If he was in love with his best friend. If he should still be allowed to live in the household. (it's supposed to be home, richie.)

(but it's not a home because i don't feel love, richie.)

Richie Tozier sat in his room, eavesdropping on the conversation until he felt physically sick. His father's words played again and again in his head. My son cannot be gay, Maggie! But he is, and he's a fucking disgrace! He likes cock! I bet you he's already sucked that little friend of his' p—

Richie couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed his earbuds, turning the volume all the way up. Still he could hear his thoughts. Don't touch other boys, Richie. You don't want them to know you're little secret. Don't stare for too long. Don't hold his hand. Don't think about his lips. Frustrated, Richie yanked his earbuds out and threw them on his bed from where he had moved to sit, on his bay window. A silent sob escaped his lips, sending a shiver down his back. He held his legs close, cursing at himself and reminding him that he liked girls. He did, right?

He wanted to believe that was true, but the posters on his walls made him think otherwise. Tom Holland dressed as Spiderman stared at him, seemingly giving him a dirty look. Richie remembered how much he loved Spiderman. He thought he watched it for the action. But there's a reason MJ wasn't on this poster. He realized so suddenly and painfully his body jerked that just maybe he watched the Spiderman movies just for Tom Holland. Just maybe he wouldn't mind kissing Tom Holland on the lips, or cuddling him and hugging him. The poster on the wall taunted him, the handsome man's eyes digging into Richie's soul. Sobbing harder, he ran to the wall, ripping the poster from it's beloved spot, the edges being ripped off. He shredded it to pieces, droplets of salty water still dripping from out of his eyes. Every poster taunted him: his Wallows poster, his American Horror Story poster seemed to tease and poke at him, for crying out loud! He went around the room, tearing them to scraps.

He glanced over at his wall, seeing Polaroids pinned up on his wall. He smiled at them, but that soon flipped to a frown. He was thankful no one was there at the moment. He felt so shattered and broken, and couldn't imagine the hate he'd get from his friends for this. He knew if they knew about this he would never hear the end of it. Richie Tozier wasn't supposed to have mental breakdowns. Memories flooded his brain as he looked at each individual photo, the shouting from downstairs slowly fading away.

He grabbed a Polaroid of him and Bev, sitting on the hammock smoking. He remembered the times they would do that. Oh, how he had missed the clubhouse. It was fun down there. He remembered Eddie yapping at them about lung cancer and five thousand other things all at once (wow that kid could talk). Richie glanced over the other Polaroids, seeing pictures of him with each loser, but he noticed that he particularly had a lot with Eddie. He took one off of the wall, setting the pushpin that held it up on the desk that sat nearby. In the small frame was a photo of Eddie and Richie laying on the hammock, the smaller boy's foot in his face and him just laughing, so used to his stinky toes being pushed into his face. He saw another Polaroid with his best friend and grabbed it as well. His eyes skimmed over the picture of them sleeping on one another with a bowl of popcorn on their laps. He laughs, regretting ever giving Beverly the rights to use his Polaroid camera. That was their friendship, Richie and Eddie's. It was pure. And maybe there was a little oblivious pining every once in a while (all the time), but that was their relationship.