Park bench (DISCONTINUED)

Returning To Something

Chapter 1

FABIAN

I thought being back here would make me feel something. Anything... but it didn't. All I remember is my mum, Dalia and Natalia. I've lost the three woman that I cherished the most. I hate the decisions I made. Losing contact with Dalia is my most biggest mistake and I wish I could take it back. But if only she knew why, she'll look at me differently. She wouldn't see me as her Fabian anymore but someone unrecognisable. It's true, people do change. Especially the ones you've known your entire life will be unfamiliar to you. And that's how I was with her. With Dalia.

I stop the car outside her house as I stare up at the familiar building. I step out of my BMW and walk up to the front. I hesitate at first. Shall I knock? Would she want to see me? Fuck it, let's just do it. I knock on her door as well as ring the doorbell. All of a sudden, the door opens wide and I see my best friend. She looks so beautiful. She's changed a lot. A look of confusion passes her face, then recognition and then anger.

"Dal-" the door slams shut in my face. I groan and lean against it. "Dalia. Come on. Open the door!" Nothing. I can feel her though. I can sense she's right behind the door. Contemplating whether to let me in. "Sweet Dalia please" the door opens in an instant and I almost fall.

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare call me that!" She shouts in my face. I see tears about to fall and I curse myself for being the cause of them.

"Dalia I'm sorry" I apologise when I'm met with the palm of her hand on my cheek. A stinging sensation drives through the side of my face. "Okay, I deserve that"

"Get the fuck away from me and leave me alone" before she could shut the door, my foot comes in contact with it. Pain seethes through my leg but I bite it down. I push the door open and enter it. She looks at me with shock in her eyes. "Get out!" She orders me and I smirk.

"God, I guess some things never change huh" I amusedly say. She frowns and folds her arms over her chest- which by the way- have grown since the last time I saw her. I guess she's a grown woman now.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're still your bossy self." I admit to her. she rolls her eyes and opens the front door. I however, close it again and walk through the house.

"Fabian I don't have time for this. Get the hell out of my house" I look around and smile. All her pictures hung up on the wall from when she was little. I see only one family photo and I swear she had loads of them. I mindlessly stare at our one. The one we took the first day we met. "Seems like just yesterday we met" i quietly say.

"Yeah well, seems like yesterday you up and left me with no contact at all" I hear the snide comment and I smile. I also deserved that.

"Dalia we need to talk"

"No we don't"

"Yes we do! I'm sorry okay. I shouldn't have just left like that"

"It's not the way you left! It's the way you promised me things and didn't keep them. You left and never spoke to me ever again. I felt like I had lost my one best friend. Why, why did you do it?" She backed me into a corner as her tiny figure stands threateningly in front of me. I swallow the lump in my throat.

"I-I don't know."

"Well that's not good enough. Why are you even back?"

"Dad died." I simply say. It hurt really bad when he died. He died from cancer. I found him dead and that was traumatic.

"Shit, I'm sorry" she sympathetically says. I shake my head dismissing her apology.

"I didn't want to be alone. I wanted my best friend so I came back cause I need you"

"Oh so now you need me?" She asks incredulously. I look down and dig my hands in my pocket. "Did you know my dog died?" I look up and see tears spilling from her eyes.

"Jasper's dead?"

"Yes Jasper's dead!"

"I'm sorry"

"No I don't care. You knew how much I loved that dog. You knew! I needed you then and i still need you now"

"I'm here for you" I assure her and she scoffs.

"Well, too little too late" she emotionlessly tells me. "Did you know my parents had a divorce? I needed you then, to help me get through it all. They'd always fight over who had me and on what day. Soon, they took it all to court. Dad got full custody because we found out mum was using again. I don't even know where she is anymore" I step forward cautiously. I want to hold her. Show her that I'm sorry and I'm here now. Her voice breaking from the thought of her mother being out of her life.

"I want to be there for you now. Please, let me" I step another step forward. She doesn't react in anyway so that's assuring.

"Well, I don't want you to. I don't have time for people who think of me as second options."

"I don't think of you that way I promise"

"Do you know how many nights I cried myself to sleep? Thinking that you wanted nothing to do with me. That our friendship meant nothing to you. I felt worthless to you because you deserted me when I needed you the most." I sigh and look down. I feel ashamed to say the least, and guilty and I feel like a coward. I hid from her because of all my problems. I was being selfish, thinking about what happened to me when all this time, Dalia went through hell.

"Dalia, I'm really sorry. Let me make it up to you please" I beg her yet she turns the other way.

"You hurt me Fabian."

"I'm here now!" I shout out frustrated.

"I didn't ask you to be!" She runs her hand through her hair and I can tell she's getting annoyed. I sigh and close my eyes.

"Look, I need to go. I need to see-"

"Natalia right?" I look at her and see the hurt in her eyes. "What makes you think she'll take you back with open arms?" If she knew, she'd hate me more. I stare at her guiltily. Her eyes go wide when she realises something and my guess is, she knows. "Wait, did you... did you keep in contact with her all this time?" I break our eye contact and look elsewhere. "Oh my god, you did!"

"Dali I-"

"GET OUT!" She interrupts me and shock passes my face.

"Dalia I'm sorry. If you just listen to me-"

"I have work. I don't have time for this. You need to leave and don't bother contacting me again" i sigh and turn to leave. I open the door and see her putting her coat and scarf on.

"I want to tell you Dali, but I'm scared of how you'll react" is the last thing that i say and exit her house. My feet trudges in the early snow that has fallen. It's late November and the snow is meant to be heavy this year in Seaview. I lazily walk to my car and sit inside. The cold air allowing puffs of fog to escape my mouth. I rub my hands together and blow in them as I turn the heater on once the car is started. Driving out of her drive way, I catch a glimpse of Dalia getting into her car and driving the opposite direction.