Dear Jeff [complete]

10. Dream Brother

"Don't be like the one who made me so old

Don't be like the one who left behind his name

'Cause they're waiting for you like I waited for mine

And nobody ever came"

Dear Jeff,

I think this is my last letter. I don't think I can keep doing this... My chest hurts... My eyes burn with tears I try to stop from falling. I think this is the last goodbye. God knows I want this to be the last goodbye, but I can never be sure.

I'll never stop thinking about you... Not until I am dead too...

Why did you leave me, Jeff? Should I blame the river or you? Should I blame God? Or should I blame me?

I will never know.

Sometimes I am still waiting for you to come back. I lost the count of times when I thought I saw your face in a crowd just to realize it's just another stranger and never you.

I feel so afraid, Jeff. I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to be without you anymore. Because loneliness for me it's not being alone, it's being without you.

But what can I do now? Cry out your name? Pray for you? Think about you?

Oh Jeff, my love, can't you give me some sign?

Are you my guardian angel now?

This is my last letter. My last goodbye. But I don't think I will be able to ever say goodbye. I dream wide awake about seeing you on the other side where the paradise is a place populated by sweet angels. A little place where we can be forever young and forever loved.

I hope you are resting in peace now, Jeffrey.

And you said: dream brother. Oh, dream sister.

But I cannot dream if you are not here with me anymore.

"I feel afraid and I call your name

I love your voice and your dance insane

I hear your words and I know your pain

Your head in your hands and a kiss on the lips of another

Your eyes to the ground and the world spinning round forever

Asleep in the sand with the ocean washing over"