vengeance

daddy issues

When I tell you I cried so hard, I mean it. It talks about how he ranted to her about selling his soul and how he was in an abusive relationship w Geneva and it was because he sold his soul and the devil was attached to him fucking him up. Also, she told a bunch of stories about how she and Geneva had to pull Jahseh up off of the balcony because he tried to jump off so many times. 

Man, I've been listening to I spoke to the devil in Miami on repeat I'm having an anxiety attack. When you sell your soul you're selling it to a demon. I'm NOT a religious person but that could mean his soul is in hell. I can't imagine, I don't want him there. I just want him to be happy. I don't really hate Geneva anymore, because I believe Jah may have been abusive maybe not physically but maybe verbally or both. Either way, I love Jahseh with my entire well being and I don't care if he did it or not, people change, people make mistakes. He wasn't in his right mind and depression and love makes you fucking crazy, so I really can't speak on it. 

Believe me, I know what love does to you, and I know what depression does to you. I found my fucking old suicide note yesterday rip me. 

Jaylani POV:

I hesitantly followed Jahseh out the door but Ayleks yelled out the window from her car; "Hey come with us!" I caught up with Jahseh and turned his face towards mine. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were glossy. I turned my head back towards Ayleks's ar. "I'm gonna ride with Jah. Sorry," I said, shrugging. 

I hated seeing Jah in pain, and I guess whatever his mom brought up about his dad really hit him hard. I turned back towards Jah and he was giving me unintentional puppy eyes. It made me smile a little, but also feel sad. He was hurt, but he was just so cute I couldn't handle it. I stood on my tippy toes and wrapped my arms around his neck bringing him closer to me. I pulled him into a kiss, fireworks went off inside f my stomach. And butterflies formed in my pelvic area. My cheeks heated up and I unintentionally stopped because I was smiling so hard. I pulled away from him and he was trying to hide a little crooked smile. 

"Jah, I got you. I promise, and you know you're not alone, ever. I WILL ALWAYS be here." 

He looked down and began to shake. 

"No you're gonna leave just like Geneva did." He cried.

Pain struck me in the chest making me gasp. 

Does he really think I'd leave him like that?

"Jah I promise I will never leave. Ever. I'm not Geneva and you know that."

He cried into my shoulder and I ran my hands through his dreads. 

Everyone had left except Ayleks and Trippie since they were in the same car. 

I looked at their car and they were staring. "I'll be back," I said, lifting his head up so he could look at me.  He slowly nodded and I kissed him on the forehead. He sat on the gravel with his head in between his legs. He was shaking so badly. 

I walked towards Aylek's window and she looked at me with confused and hurt eyes. "What happened?" She asked. 

"Jah is having some family problems and he's not in his right mind and I need to figure out what's wrong." 

"Just tell the crew to stay there till like 3 and we'll be there in the next hour or so," I replied.

Ayleks took a deep breath and looked towards Trippie. Who was looking past her trying to cock his head in the right angle to see past me and see what was happening with Jahseh.