Habits (Larry)

11.

Louis woke up to the sound of beeping. At first his eyes were glued shut with sleep, but eventually they blinked open, revealing a hospital room. The smell of hospital hit Louis' nose and made him sneeze. For a moment, Louis had no idea what was going on. But, with help from his surroundings, remembrance, and instincts, he clearly knew exactly why he was here. He gulped. The noise of a creaking door made him jump. He looked up to see a nurse, who was somewhat plump with red hair and a friendly face, walking over to him. Louis wished he could somehow turn back time and not have purged before the concert and let that stupid habit take his energy, but he was trapped. Nothing but troubled and trapped.

He knew what was coming.

Treatment. They would send him to an inpatient clinic for his "eating disorder". He would be gone for a while too. The thought of going somewhere for months without Harry made Louis feel sick. Right now, he felt like Harry was the only thing keeping him alive. He needed Harry to survive. Harry was his everything.

The nurse was gone as fast as she had appeared, and replaced by a doctor. The man looked down at Louis, causing Louis to sink more into the hospital bed, which was metal so it hurt much more. "Don't be frightened mr. Tomlinson," the man said in a more deep, formal voice, "I just must have a quick chat with you." Louis sat up and nodded, even though he was dreading what the man would say next. The man had a clipboard in a hand, and he had taken a seat in a chair in the corner of the room, and propped the clipboard on his lap. The click of the pen made Louis sweat. He didn't want to talk to this man right now. He wanted to see Harry.

The next hour or so was the doctor telling Louis what had happened to him. He had fainted due to dehydration and lack of nutrition. He had liver damage and in addition, was in a mild coma. He explained to Louis the wound Liam had given him, and also how they all saw the slash marks that were all over his body. The doctor had then told Louis exactly what he had expected to hear.

That word treatment made his skin crawl and his stomach twist.

He knew there was no escape from this. He knew everyone he loved would force him into this. Louis wished he had died when he was in the coma. Then the doctor told him he had visitors. Louis accepted the request from them to see him.

The first visitors were his family.
Well, his mom and his sisters, not his youngest sister and brother. Not his dad or step dad either.

Jay barged right in and hugged him. The hug seemed to last forever to Louis, but the familiar scent and feeling of his mother was comforting. After he was released from Jay's grasp, he felt hugs come from his sisters. He cracked a tiny smile, even though he felt like hell right now. Jay walked back up to him, her face more serious now, but tears still rolled down her cheeks. "Boo, you gave me the biggest scare of my life. I can't believe it happened. I'm so sorry boobear, but they are going to send you to treatment okay? You will get better there, trust me. It's for the best." Louis nodded, even though he found his eyes burning with tears. His mom gave him another hug, before leaving with his sisters. Coming in after her were Niall, Zayn, and Liam. The three hovered over him, sad frowns on their faces. "Hey lad. It's okay. You are okay. You will be okay. You're going to get better Lou, trust us." Liam cooed in his most soothing voice. Louis wanted to puke. Everyone was being so fake, as if it was an act and they were being told by someone to go pretend like it was all okay and how this treatment would help. It was a fucking disaster and everyone was staying so calm. The thought made Louis extremely nauseous. The three stayed with him for a few minutes more, reassuring him it was all okay. "It's really fucking not though." Louis thought, frustrated. Finally, Harry entered. He looked at Louis, and their eyes locked. Harry was a mess. His face was red and puffy from crying, and his green eyes had turned so dull. He was obviously upset. Louis watched as Harry took a seat at the edge of the bed. He buried his face in his hands for a few moments. He finally stopped, and turned to lock eyes with Louis one more,  who sighed and sunk back into the bed. "I'm sorry this happened Louis, but I promise you you're going to get better. Treatment will help." "No it won't," Louis answered angrily. "Yes it will Louis. Gemma had a friend who had an eating disorder and went to an inpatient clinic for a few months. She came out of there happy and healthy again. And that's all I want to see: you happy and healthy again." "Oh shut up Harry," Louis barked. "What?" Harry's face was twisted with pain and confusion. "You don't give two shits about me. For years you watched me struggle and didn't give a shit. Now all of a sudden you do. Someone obviously told you to pretend to care about me. Probably management. You kiss their ass 24/7 anyways." "Louis, I have cared about you this whole time. I didn't know what to do though. I couldn't just tell you to eat. It's not like you would listen. I couldn't act like I cared because I thought you were actually falling in love with Eleanor. You say I was so good at pretending to not give a shit, but Louis, you were too. You were so good at acting like you were fine, I could never tell. And I'm sorry." Harry's voice was quivering and he could barely get his sentences out, "and I'm going to really miss you in these next few months. Sending you away kills me more than you can imagine. But it's for your health and happiness and it's for the best." "You're going to have to try to fucking forget about me." Louis mumbled. "Louis, How the fuck do I do that? I'm not going to forget about you Lou. I just can't." Louis suddenly got a rush of anger pulsing through his veins. "WELL YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING HAVE TO OKAY? IM NOT GOING TO BE AROUND AND IF YOU CANT DEAL WITH THAT, LEARN TO. STOP COMPLAINING AND ACTING LIKE YOU GIVE A SHIT. EVERYTHING IS USELESS NOW, WE ARE BOTH FUCKED. WE BOTH KNOW IM GOING TO TREATMENT AND THERES NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT, SO DONT TRY TO ACT LIKE A DUMB SHIT." Louis spat the words out so fast, he had to catch his breath after shouting them. Harry was quite hurt by this. He got up from where he was sitting. He turned back to lock eyes with Louis, his green eyes sad but hopeful. "I love you Louis," Harry said. "I don't love you," Louis spat. Harry's heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. He cried silently as he walked out. But right before he was about to exit, he looked back at Louis and said, "I know you don't love me, but please do something for me when you go to treatment," Harry paused before he pathetically whimpered, "please eat." Louis had lied. He loved Harry so much, but he was scared to get close with anyone. His eating disorder was associated with his trust issues. But he was just so upset he had said things he didn't mean. "HARRY WAI-" it was too late. Harry was gone, and Louis wouldn't see him for several months. Louis began to cry, not caring who heard his sobs.

He just blew the whole thing with him and Harry once again.

It was never Harry, just always him.

Louis heard the click of the pen again, which meant time to sign the contract to go to treatment.

Forever faded, and Forever gone, Louis just sat there, wanting to rot and forget about everything.

It wasn't that easy though.

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Hi everyone! I wasn't expecting to update tonight, but I did! Sorry for the crappiness of it, but hey at least it's something! So sorry about the whole POV thing. I'm very indecisive and I can never make up my mind so I will be switching the POV randomly okay?:) thanks for reading and chapter 12 will probably be up in a couple days! Ps, I had a huge project and its HUGE, like a big portion of your grade. But, I got it done and now I'm free! Buys guys