Loving Ashton Irwin

Liam moves in.

I walk with Ashton carrying my stuff to his house we talk along the way. Mostly him comforting me and trying to avoid the panic attack brewing inside me. But we both know as soon as we get to his house I'm gonna break down and then get all panicky.

We walk up to the door when Mrs Irwin swings it open, knowing what happened since ash called her when I was getting my shit from the bathroom and my room. She pulled me into a hug and told me that she accepts me for whoever I am and that I am always welcome in her house as well as that I can stay as long as I want or need to. I thank her and continue walking up to Ash's room. We place the stuff on the floor by the foot of the bed.

Ash walks over and sits on the bed with his legs spread slightly. "Come here Liam sit with me and you can cry in my lap I'll hold you and care for you like good..." he paused looking for an appropriate word and briefly looked really sad then put on his happy face "...friends." It pained ash to say this but he couldn't say what he really wanted to.

I climb into his lap and use his thigh as a pillow wrapping my arms around his waist. I slowly begin to feel the tears roll down my face and start shaking softly. He runs his hand through my hair and rubs my back knowing it helps calm me when I'm like this. Luckily this time it's just crying and not hyperventilation which happens a lot when I have panic attacks.

"Ashton you know you're the only reason I'm still alive right?" I stop crying and continue holding onto him. Knowing that my feelings are only gonna grow if I continue holding him like this.

"Liam don't talk like that I don't wanna hear you say that, got it? I don't wanna think about a world without you." Ashton had to choose his words carefully as to avoid revealing feelings and possibly make Liam run off.

"I'm sorry ash I just I mean to say... thank you it means so much that you care about me and make sure I'm okay." Not what I meant to say but close enough, right? Wrong. Not close.

We sit together like this for quiet some time when Ash's mum comes in to tell us it's dinner time, but you see I don't wanna let go of ash because it may be awhile before I can hold him like this again. So I pretend to be asleep so we can't get up.

"Mum I think Liam has had a long day and needs a nap can you bring our food up and I'll bring out the dishes later?" I hear Ashton say.

"Of course love, it has been an interesting day to say the least, but we do need to talk later before bed, alright?" She asks.

"Yes mum, I know. And we will." With that she left downstairs to get our food and brought it back up leaving it on ashton's bedside table.

He runs his hands through my hair and I can't help but to smile. I love this man so fucking much. He's my best friend and hopefully one day lover. But that's just a dream.

Next chapter is in ashton's point of view while they are laying together in this position. It will be a shorter one though.