Cheaper By The Baker's Dozen

The story of the Baker's

Thirteen is our number.

It's the number of games my dad, Tom, coaches at Lincoln College every season.

It's the number of times my parents zero out their bank account each year to make ends meet.

And it's the number of kids they try to keep track of.

Thirteen maybe be an insane number of kids.... but having a small family was never an option for my parents.

My dad loved growing up with seven brothers and sisters.

My mom, after her sister died spent most of her time wishing she had seven brothers and sisters.

My parents met at Illinois Polytechnic University. My dad was a senior dreaming of becoming the head football coach there, while my mother was a freshman dreaming of becoming a sports reporter.

They both wanted eight kids. Bam.

An hour after they met, they knew they were both the one.

They just had family at the wedding along with my dad's best man Shake Maguire.

A year after the wedding they had my older sister Nora. Then came Charlie, my older brother, followed by me and then my younger sister Lorraine.

My parents soon realized that their dream of living in the city with eight kids and two careers wasn't going to work.

They loved the idea of having a big family more so than having their big careers. So my dad settled for a Division III coaching job at Lincoln and my mom quit the Tribune, moving to the country instead.

Once my parents moved to Midland everything became crazy. My mom had Henry, Sarah, Jake and Mark consecutively.

My parents were content as they had reached the magic number of eight. That was until they found out they were having two more.

My sisters Jessica and Kim who are fraternal twins were born.

My parents had their hands full with ten kids. Then they went to celebrate Shake Macguire's appointment as the athletic director to my parents alma mater.

Let's just say a few too many drinks later and my mom had Mike 9 months later.

My dad had a vasectomy and my parents swore to us they were done at 11 but they didn't realize it took a few weeks.

My mom gave birth to Nigel and Kyle which got us to that crazy number 13. My parents are now experts at managing chaos or so they like to believe.

*********

I woke up to the excruciating sound of pounding and screaming. My door and walls only did so much to block out the noise of a house full of people.

Unable to block out the noise, I rolled out of bed grabbing my clothes and got changed. Once I was ready I opened my door to find the younger twins running around playing, Sarah pounding on the bathroom door, Jake skating in the hallway and Henry blasting his clarinet, which sounded pretty rough.

"Dad can I get a little quiet in the morning?" I asked as I made my way to the bathroom, passing him in the hallway.

"Maybe Maggie if you and your brother didn't disobey the curfew. 10 o'clock that's the deal" he said with a raised eyebrow. I stood still showing no emotion, internally, however, I was mad I had been caught again. Not wanting to get in anymore trouble I quickly and quietly turned on my heel and got behind Sarah, starting the line for the bathroom.