breathe // snowbaz

part three

SIMON

I don't even remember walking up to my room. I feel like I've been running through a thick fog and the second I step into the room, the fog gets just a little bit thinner. It's too much of a fucking miracle for me to question it much. I sigh and collapse onto the bed in front of me, quickly untucking the blankets and wrapping them around me. I bury my face into the pillow because my face is hot and burning, but the bed beneath me warms too quickly and I find myself wishing I had opened the window before I got comfortable. I'm sure I'll need it later, there are at least 4 blankets covering me and I'm starting to sweat, but the weight of them on top of me is comforting and I welcome the embrace. When I can't seem to convince my limbs to move, I ponder using magic to push it open, but I can't think of any spells and Merlin knows where my wand is, so I kick the covers to my feet and sprawl out on the mattress. My body feels heavy and slow, weighed down by my stress and sorrow.

But with all the commotion I feel separate from time and free of purpose so I tuck my worry away and draw my weariness forward, letting the cool aroma of bergamot lull me to sleep.

———————

When my eyes open I see that the small end table beside my bed is bare and lacking my usual alarm clock, leaving the only sign of the passing of time to be the darkening sky outside my window. The room is dark and significantly cooler without the sun shining through, but I don't mind it. Whatever chill that makes its way to my skin is blocked when I tug the kicked covers at my feet back over my body. I stare at the room, watching the soft light of the moon reflect onto the closed bathroom door. For a blissful moment, I'm too caught up in the shadows that fall against the plainness of the door to notice the light shining through the bottom.

Baz.

I jump up from the bed so quickly that the shock of it mixed with the dizziness causes me to slip off the edge of the bed. My limbs tangle awkwardly as I try to gain footing, my heart beating fast and pulsing towards the door. I run to the door, staggering and slightly sickened by my sudden dizzy spell, but I abruptly stop when I reach for the tarnished handle. I withdraw my shaky hand and let out a stuttering breath, my excitement momentarily caught by the crushing anxiety and uncertainty of everything. I'm still not sure what's happening to me. But I think Baz is the key to everything. He has to be. And even if he isn't, he's always been the sharpest mage at Watford. If anyone can fix me, it's him. I bite my lip and move forward, driven by the hope that Baz will fix me.

I push the door slowly, peeking my head in, trying to spot Baz in the small room through my stinging eyes, squinting in the brightness of the fluorescent bulbs. I wait for my eyes to adjust.

Empty.

"Baz?" I call out nervously. No response. I stand in the doorway of the bathroom, paralysed by the sting of my defeat.

———————

BAZ

I always check the window of my room as soon as I get close enough to Mummer's. If I see that it's open, that means Snow is around but closed means he's off somewhere saving the bloody world, the prick.

I almost don't check tonight because it's dinner time and he never misses an opportunity to stuff himself bulging, but I do anyway because I'm too paranoid for my own good and seeing Snow again right now would completely wipe away all of the progress I've made over the past few weeks.

I saw him walking through the door of Mummer's just before dinner. Even though he was probably just setting down his books before dinner — he does that sometimes, hopefully to protect our school's decade-old books from splats of butter and dropping crumbs — I fled.