A Change Of Scenery

Empty

The two weeks I had left were flying by faster than I thought possible.
Every second had been spent packing, partying, planning with Brittany how we would keep our friendship as close as it has aways been, and over thinking.
At least the crying had stopped.

I don't think I had any tears left.

I felt angry, sad, scared, and alone.
I tried to think about how nice the new house would be, or about how I could start over and be anyone I wanted to be.
I would never be ready, but I had to keep myself together.

Just one year.
One year and I can apply for college here.
I can come back.
One year didn't seem so bad.
"Not that much can change in one year!" I thought to myself.

I finished taping the last of boxes that would be waiting for me in my new house.

A light tap on my door brought me back from my thoughts. "Come in" I sighed.
Brittany walked in my room with a smirk on her face.
"So tonight there's going to be a huge party thrown by one of the hot seniors, we're definitely going" She demanded.

"Sure, but I may need to borrow a cute outfit.. After all, almost my whole wardrobe is about to be sent to another state" I said half laughing.
"Of course, let's just go to my house." And off we went.

After picking out a cute, short, white dress I was ready to drink my worries away.

Such a bad idea. Always a bad idea.

We walked in and a few senior guys I recognized were standing outside smoking cigarettes.

One of them who I had seen around school named Mark walked up to us.
Looking me in the eye he gently pinned a loose piece of hair behind my ear and asked if I would like a drink.
I declined as I never let others get my drinks, but offered to dance with him instead.

We rocked back and forth by the table which held the ear deafening music player.

I laughed to myself about how "great" this was.
Drinking, dancing with some guy I'd never see again, mentally dreading the move.
I saw Brittany walk by and give me a look.
I let go of Mark and turned to see Chris.

His black hair, black ripped jeans, and white shirt clinging to his muscles.
"Hey," he said flipping his hair "can we talk?"

I looked at Mark with an I'm sorry expression on my face and shrugged my shoulders.

I followed him to the backyard out of a sliding door.
We stood on the porch awkwardly not saying anything.

Finally I broke the silence "I'm moving" I said at the same time he said "I'm sorry" I looked up.

"Wait you're moving?
But why, why now?
I'm sorry okay.
After everything with Victoria I know I led you on.
I just didn't know how to help you.
I wanted to fix everything, I.. I just couldn't.
I'm sorry I was an asshole truly.. But don't leave.
I would miss you."
He talked so fast I wasn't sure he even took a breath. His brown eyes serious.

"I have to. Not my choice"
I sighed deeply
"I'll probably be back in a year.. For college.
I forgive you but.. But you really hurt me.
I needed you, I really needed you and you were off with god knows how many other girls.
It's okay though I've moved on with my life.
I hope nothing but the best for, you."

And with that I went to grab Brittany.
I needed to go now.
This liquid courage wouldn't last forever and if I stayed near Chris too long I knew I'd do what I always do.
Pretend nothing ever happened and let my feelings take over.

I'd always love him, but I couldn't do this to myself again.
Maybe a change of scenery would be a good thing after all.
Maybe my parents were right.

As we made our way back into my house I stepped carefully as to not wake the whole house up.

I quietly shut the door behind Brittany and I and sat down across from her on my bed.
One of the only things left in my room.

Everything looked so empty, a replica of how I felt on the inside. We didn't talk about how the conversation with Chris went, or about how tomorrow I would leave. We didn't talk at all.

We sat with each other lost until own thoughts untill somehow we both drifted off to sleep.