Bucket List ↬ X.DJ

11

xiaojun's.

yahui's mom is gonna be out for quite some time and requested me to stay over at their place.

surprisingly, she also gave permission for her daughter to drink alcohol. she told me that she just wanted to give her a new experience.

i don't know if its just me but... its like she's letting her do it because she's losing hope.

the longer time passes, the more yahui loses hope too.

*~*

i watch as yahui takes another shot.

she only drank around 1/4 of the bottle but she's already getting tipsy.

she was about to get another shot but i stopped her by the wrist.

"heyyyy, what's wrong with you?" she put a finger on my chest as she slurred.

i took both of her wrists and helped her up.

"i think you had enough for tonight", i said as she was practically dragging herself.

i take a deep breath and decided to carry her. she giggled and hid her face in the crook of my neck.

i gently lay her on the bed.

she sat up slowly then looked at me for a few minutes. she traced the outline of my face.

she sadly smiled, "you know what? i really feel like i'm dying slowly. i want to really just end it but i don't want to lose xiaojun. i also don't want him to feel alone."

i looked her with sad eyes. she's thinking of me all this time?

"we only have each other. if i'm gone, who would look after him? yeah, he has family and some friends but you know, we have 'that' connection."

its true. i might have other people in my life but i'm far more attached to her than anyone else.

her eyes started to droop and i helped her lie down again.

"i love xiaojun so much" she whispered as i was fixing her blanket "more than a friend... but not all feelings can be returned," then she fell asleep.

yahui, i love you so much too. more than you can imagine.