Falling

Chapter 3 - Realization

Silence. Atsushi knew what that meant.

"Nakahara-san... Please, forgive me."

Forgive I couldn't do anything. Forgive me for a burden you're going to bear.

Atsushi gripped the phone, drawing his frustration out, but it was like a nail-hole that bore a barrel of wine. Flow was slow and thin, not able to seep the substance in the speed it was desperate to come out.

Atsushi didn't know what to feel. Relief wasn't the option, no matter the way that man treated him. It, he realized, wasn't in his nature. Akutagawa placed a hand on his shoulder as if asking him if he can walk. Atsushi nodded without looking at him and they made their way down the stairs.

No words were spoken when they were in a lift. No matter what Dazai did, he still was his teacher.

"I don't know what to feel either," Akutagawa spoke finally.

"That man separated me and my sister and did many bad things, but... To end like this... it's weird."

"I know. Dazai-san crawed for death, but to actually be able to do it, I wouldn't believe... And those weird things he said to us. I can't believe they..."

"Might be true?"

"...Yes..."

After a short pause, Atsushi spoke again. "We're going to your sister now?"

"I do, you're not obliged."

"Well, I think about leaving the Mafia right now."

Akutagawa raised his eyebrows. "Now?"

"When else?" Atsushi smiled bitterly. "Dazai-san... it might be an only opportunity to escape this cruel life."

"Nakahara-san will most likely suceed him. If he was a Boss from the beggining... things would be much better. Without parallel."

"I agree with you, but I just... want to put an end to it all. Even if better days will come, there's more ugly things I want to forget. I can't do that if I'm here, so I have to go. If that makes sence."

Akutagawa stared straight at metalic doors for a minute. "Do you have anywhere to go?"

Atsushi shrugged. "No, but it's worth trying. Every place would be better than this."

"Why don't you join the ADA?"

The Black Reaper stared in awe at his newfound partner.

"Y-you think-"

"Don't be afraid they'll accept you under their wing. You're person with a past similiar to mine. Kyouka migh want to join too."

White-haired male opened his mouth and closed them a few times, like he had to pronounce a flood of words, but nothing wanted to came out. So much words, but not enough to pick from, so he said the only thing he found appropriate.

"Thank you."

***

Chuuya walked down the street with a boring task. If it wasn't Boss's order, he would have turned a deaf ear and gone to the forest to observe birds.

Quay wasn't crowded as it usualy is. One man or a woman on every two minutes, yeah, pretty empty.

Why do I have to be a searching party? Chuuya thought, kicking pebbles in the river.

He observed thin, circular lines spreading in the water and then disappearing, like they were never there. Unfortunately, or yet fortunately, he's spotted with the corner of his eye a figure jumping off of a bridge. Black suit, bandages, brown hair. Shit.

"Dazai!" Chuuya shriekened and jumped in cold water.

.

.

.

"What were you thinking?!"

"What?" Dazai said innocently. "I've just wanted to cool myself a bit. And the water is so beautiful~."

"Cool down my ass! You could have died!"

"Come on, shortie! You know I would never-"

"Then what was that about, ha?! If I wasn't th-... Ah, I get it..." Chuuya gritted his teeth.

"You saw me and knew I'd jump to save your suicidal ass, right?"

"Me?" Dazai said and pointed at his chest dramatically. "An accusation without basis. You think I'd want to abnegate myself a good swim? Besides, even if I saw you, how could I know you're going to save me? Don't you hate me, Chuuya~?" Dazai said with a grin.

"Oh course I do!" Chuuya stood up and kicked Dazai's leg. "I hate you so much that I regret the fact I'm saving you from death everytime! You should just die and leave us be at peace!"

"But you can't deny you jumped~. Aww, you're such a good friend!"

"Hands off! And we're not friends!" Chuuya said after dodging Dazai's hands that wanted to pull him in a hug.

"Alright, buddy."

"I'm not your buddy, bastard!"

"Alright hatrack."

"Hey!"

Chuuya threw a punch at Dazai, but he dodget easily. Dazai started running away laughting while Chuuya chased him all the way to Port Mafia HQ. When they entered the building, still running, they received odd glances, laughts and smiles from people passing by. It was good to hear children's laughter in a place like that.

Rang almost pierced Chuuya's left ear when Atsushi said his name. He dropped the phone and the thing landed at his feet. Faint sound of apologizing disappeared in the air and didn't reach his ears.

At first, Chuuya thought his mind was playing with him. There was no way Dazai would actually jump, right?

If Dazai's eyes didn't go wide when he spotted Chuuya, Chuuya would believe that theory.

Earlier, it was always jumping across the bridge, hanging and many other methods that could be stopped, unlike this one. No one can stop him from falling and colliding with concrete beneath. No one. That was the point. Means he is serious this time.

"In other words, suicidal bastard wants to live?"

That, Chuuya realized, disappeared long ago. More precisely - the day he became the Boss.

But why was he crying? If suicide was something he hoped for, why tears?

Text on the phone was part of an answer and red-headed realized in the same time he made a question.