Falling

Chapter 6 - Cure

What Dazai did not expect was a slap. Strong enough to twist his head and slam his cheekbone to the floor so it hurted. Dazai warily moved his orbs to catch a sigh of Chuuya baring his teeth and grasping his white collar, bringing him up, only centimeters away from his face.

"Just what in the world you were thinking you were doing?!"

"Chuuya... calm d-"

"To calm down?! How do you expect from me to calm down, ha?" he said while shaking him.

"Why did you save me?" Dazai said, barely having control of his shaken self that threatened to show, and grabbed Chuuya's arms tightly.

Ginger gave him an incredulous look, like a thought that said Dazai was joking flashed his mind.

"Why...?" he said quetly, then lost it.

"Why, you say?! WHY?! You jump off the top of that bigass building and pass right before my eyes and expect me to not do anything?! How dare you?! How fucking dare you, you bastard?!"

Astounded Mafia Boss could only stare wordlessly at those blue eyes filled with rage and something Dazai couldn't recognize. Expression alone was so deviating from Chuuya's character and brunet wondered for a moment if someone had switched him with someone else.

"That... still doesn't explain! You see I wanted to die, so why are you making it harder? Can't you see how tired I am, how I'm tired living in this world?!" he yelled, all previously hidden emotions contorting his features, frustration heard in his voice. "Why did you always cut the ropes? Why did you always jump in the water? Why did you always throw out the drugs? And now to jump after me?! Why are you always keeping me alive, why?!"

Just as he finished, he froze, realizing he'd said too much. In attempt to show nothing more but calmness, whereas saying lame excuses, he ended up spilling his deepest emotions and thoughts out.

Short outburst left Chuuya speechless for a bit. Dazai yelling and at the point of having a mental breakdown was something Chuuya had never thought would witness. In fact, he'd never thought he'd try to commit a suicide this sort, but there he was. Looks like there was a lot more of Dazai that remained and will remain unseen and uncomprehended by anyone. But if there's even a tiny bit of something that can be brought to the light-

"You..." Chuuya started. "... There's something wrong with you. I demand an explanation."

Dazai widened his eyes and stared at ginger, mouth slightly opened. He started to tell something, but stopped, not sure himself how to make a shift.

Oh, how Dazai wished he'd died. It'd be much better than this. He didn't calculate evrything right. How could he? What had he done wrong? No, he knew. He knew exactly what was the mistake. A message. Those two words that made Chuuya see through him. Being sure he's going to die, he'd let himself being carried by his conscience. If he didn't, Chuuya'd never be beside window, calling him and would never see him falling and would never save him. But... it's not he regrets it when he thinks over it again, but...

"You wouldn't understand," Dazai quetly said.

Nobody would understand.

"Tch! Do I have to remind you I can understand your motives and intentions? And after everything happening recently, you owe me one hell of an explanation."

"You can't-"

"I can and I have every right to," Chuuya said. "Now. Chirp."

As if inner torment wasn't enough. By the determined and strict look of his visage, Dazai uncrossed with every rebuttal speech he had in mind. Against Chuuya in that moment, he couldn't fight with words nor anything. He was just too tired. In the end, he'd made it come to this. So he sighed and started.