LuxÆterna

Chapter 11

“Goddamn the world!” Frost yells angrily. It’s in the middle of the afternoon, the eve of Christmas, and all of us members were in our house, either wrapped in blankets or sipping hot cocoa or hot tea. Then Frost, our brilliant, “composed” guild leader, barges through the front door and screams in frustration, quite similarly to a child having a temper tantrum. Suddenly I hear loud thumps of footsteps upstairs running down and I see Kami, who was the only one who was still asleep, jumping in on the action. By now we have gotten used to Frost’s bizarre madman moments, so the moment Kami saw that Frost looked as if he’s going to explode, she goes over and flips the coffee table over with a big thump. She then considers her job done and heads back upstairs to sleep.

            I laugh gleefully, and Lyra follows after. Tsuki shakes her head though she’s smiling too.

            “Son, you seriously need to get yourself straight,” Calli informs Frost. He’s heaving and panting now, a sign that he is calming down. But something is off about his demeanor today. Frost’s face is pale, and he is gritting his jaw tightly.

            “Guys, this isn’t a small problem. It’s a serious matter,” he states, his voice now deadly flat. Everyone stops drinking their cup and stay silent. Kay goes to call Kami back out so we can have a guild assembly. We sit all around the kitchen table and wait for Frost to give his explanation.

            He takes a breath and says, “I’ve been offered a high paying job in another kingdom. It’s a one-time opportunity, but if I take it, I will not be able to stay as the guild leader of LosÆterna. I’d have to disband our guild.” A long, painful silence follows after. No one knows what to say. This guild – this home – this family – was supposed to be for eternity. Forever. We were the eternals, the eternal light. Our whole guild was named for love and eternity. And now, the path has changed. It will never be the same again.

            “Take the job, Frost,” Raz says, breaking the silence. I am surprised he was the first to speak. But behind his comical façade, Raz holds true to his morals. “I’ll make sure to keep our guild in check,” he winks.

            “Woah woah woah, there is no way I’m giving you leadership of this guild,” Frost stops Raz.

            “I’ll take care of the guild then,” Kay announces. “And I’ll make sure to keep Raz in check too,” winking in an imitational fashion to Raz. Frost nods.

            “I was just about to say if anyone is taking my title of guild leader, I’d like it to be Kay.”

            Smiles are exchanged and the tension in the air has been lifted. I don’t say a word. Tsuki raises her hand to speak, “Um, if it is alright, I’ve wanted to go back to my hometown for a few months to stay with my family since I haven’t seen them for a while, because they live far away.”

            “Sure, Tsuki, it’s fine. Say hi to your family for me,” Kami says. “Besides, I’ll be busy with classes once New Year starts, so I won’t around as often to hang with you.” We all stare at her. “What?” questions Kami. “I know I’ve been a lazy sloth for – well, forever – but that doesn’t mean I am not smart.”

            “Really?” Lyra inquires jokingly. “Never knew.” She receives a glare from Kami.

            “Guys, I am actually leaving the guild once the winter event in Ayakashi is over,” Calli suddenly states, interrupting the rest of us. “An old man like me needs to take a break from fighting the young kids. I’m retiring.”

            “Ironic, coming from an immortal vampire,” I let my thought slip out into words without knowing. Calli raises his eyebrows at me.

            “I’m far older than any of you, Angel,” he replies. I scoff, but let him win the case. The rest of the group goes off in talking about different matters and soon, somehow, we began decorating the house with Christmas lights and ornaments and a tree. I help out with the lights, but instead ended up getting tangled up in them. I pout as everyone laughs, and Kami has to wipe away tears from laughing so much before helping me get out of the Christmas light trap. Frost and Raz, being the taller ones, decorate the top of the tree, while Kay and Tsuki go around the house placing stockings, wreaths, and ribbons inside and outside the house. Tsuki brings in a bouquette of red spider lilies and places them neatly in a vase on the coffee table, which is now flipped back over correctly. Lyra is busy with the kitchen, filling the house with warm, mouth-watering smells of freshly baked cookies. I hear that Calli’s job is to hide and wrap up the presents of sorts to put under the tree.

            A knock on the door brings me up from the nest of the lights to open it, and I am hit by surprise at who’s at the door. “Merry Christmas!” Sato says to everyone. He smiles at me kindly, wearing a navy blue scarf and ear muffs with his black buttoned coat and pants holding a Christmas box. I smile back and let him in to the racket of our house.

            There was laughter, there was love, and there was joy among us. The stars glimmered at our happiness above us, and I sat by the window contentedly listening to the horribly off-tune karaoke singing of Raz. Tsuki, Lyra, and Sato sang beautifully though. When it was time for me to sing, they had to drag me out of the sofa with me kicking and attempting to bite their hand off before I finally stood there, searching through the long lists of songs that I can sing. I sigh to myself, wondering how I got in this embarrassing situation. I’ve never sang before, and I don’t know if I am any good. One song catches my eye and I press on it.

            I am nervous at first, singing timidly and my hand shaking with the microphone. However, this is the song that sealed my bond with LosÆterna when I first joined, though the song itself is not even in English. And then, I sang my favorite part of the song with all my emotions:

“Erinnest du dich noch?

Erinnest du dich noch an dein Wort, das du mir gegeben hast?

Erinnest du dich noch?

Erinnest du dich noch an den Tag an dem du mir…?”

            The rest of the song seemed to flow smoothly out, as if they were a part of me. Once I was finished, everyone cheered and laughed and exclaimed things like “Wow, I didn’t know you could sing Kiri” or “Sing that song again please”. I just laughed at the overwhelming compliments and humbly took my seat back down on the sofa. I loved these days, when everything is perfect, and everything seems like the happiness will never end.

            But now the dream is shattered, with only reality staring back at me. I gaze at my pendant symbol of LosÆterna strung on top of the Christmas tree. The spider lilies right at the window. The Lyra constellation and the rest of the stars and moon. The paintings of Tsuki and Kami, and the place where Kay and Raz stood declaring their love for one another. The times when Frost runs out the door, or when Calli hides in the shadows, or Lyra staring at the moon with Tsuki.

I recall the days of Sato and I, and our conflict, and my own inner demon. Then I think of Yuki, and his words of “if only it could be always and forever”. I understand now, the meaning behind that. Yuki already sees the reality of something being forever, and that is that it is not forever. I can only wonder what caused him to see that. Finally, I think back to those quiet days when I first joined the guild, and its mere 4 members. The moment everything has gotten better, when I have found my way through my problems, another one arises. I look at the effervescent life of my guild before me. But now I see the choices that may lie ahead of me. Choices I’ll have to make, that I don’t want to make. The days of LosÆterna are no longer endless. They will no longer go on for eternity. The days of LosÆterna are now being counted.