Hold Me Close

Chapter 25

[zacs p.o.v]
Days went by and still I heard nothing from Steph. Who am I kidding?, it's not like anything was going to happen between is anyway. I might as well give up, I've been trying for too long, I should start looking for a new girlfriend.

School started back today and Steph wasn't in again, typical.. She's going to have to come back, you can only miss a certain amount of days before getting a letter home. Should I wait for her to come back or look for someone else? I'm so confused and lost, I just need someone to hold close. What the fuck is wrong with me!? I've gone soft, love makes a man crazy, I'm far past crazy. I'm insane at this point!

Nights were lonely as both my parents have night shifts. I lay on my bed listening to The Summer Set whilst strumming along on my guitar and drinking some beer. What has my life come to? I look in the mirror and sigh. I've bags under my bloodshot eyes and irritating stubble sitting on my face. I need to fix the mess I'm in, and fast. Fuck it, who am I trying to impress? Steph? Nah she doesn't doesn't give a shit about me anymore, otherwise she would be here with me.

More and more anger goes towards Beth as I see her with different guys everyday. She made me the mess I am, and I believed every word she said. I'm such an idiot.

Should I call her? Is she okay? Is she with Dave? Do I have time to fix this?
All these questions surround my head as I sit chewing on my nails, starring at the house phone as I debate whether or not I should pick it up. Fuck it, what have I got to lose, my life is as screwed as it's ever going to be..

I jump up and grab the phone in my hand before ringing Steph, no going back now. "Hello? Who's this?", her perfect voice answers the phone. I'm frozen, I try find words but I can't form them. I started stuttering and before I could speak, she hung up. I'm such a fuck up! That was my chance and I blew it! 'You could drive to Naoimh's house', my conscience suggested. Why not?

I got in my car and drove to her house. When I got to the door I began knocking voraciously, not giving a fuck if her parents were home or not. Seconds later the front door opened and Naoimh was on the other side.

"Zac what are you doing here? You look awful!", she said. "Thanks.. I'm here to see Steph", I faked a smile. "I don't think now is a good time Zac", she said. "Why? Why isn't now a good time!? I drove all this way, what could possibly be in the way?!", I exclaimed. Steph appeared out of the sitting room, looking shocked to see me. I don't blame her, I look a mess.

"Zac.. What are you doing here?", she asked quietly. "Steph, I miss you. I miss us. I can't sleep at night. You're always on my mind and I can't do anything about it. I'm here to ask you for the hundredth time for forgiveness", I beg. "Nows not a good time", Naoimh says sternly. "Why!?", I say through my gritted teeth. "What's going on here?", Dave says walking out of the sitting room. Naoimh and Steph sigh. "What the fuck are you doing here?", I say loudly. "I'm just chilling with Steph", Dave grins. "Get your fucking hands off her", I say trying not to beat the shit out of him. Dave removes his hand from Stephs waist and stands in front of me. "Or what?", he says confidently. That's it!

I grab Dave by his shirt and push him up against the wall harshly. "Come on Zac, you don't want to make a scene in front of Steph", his grin continues to simmer on his face. "Shut the fuck up Dave, you're lucky Steph doesn't know your little secret", I spit. "What secret?", Steph whispers to Naoimh. "Let me enlighten you Steph", I say holding Dave against the wall with one hand as I turn to face Steph. "Dave here was into drugs and dealing them a few months ago", I say smiling.

"Is this true?", Steph asks Dave worryingly. "Yes.. Yes it is true", Dave sighs. "But I've changed, I've quit the drugs and I don't hang around with those junkies anymore, honestly!", he says. "Great, first Zac now you! How am I supposed to trust either of you!?", Steph exclaims. "I was going to tell you Steph, really I was.. When things hopefully got serious between us. Then this dipshit had to show up and ruin everything!", Dave's hand gestures to me. "I'd be shutting up if I was you Davy", I laugh, him still in my grasp with one arm. "You can't tell me shit!", Dave literally spits on me. Anger fills me before I wipe my face and turn to him

I place my other arm on him before dropping him on the floor, where he lies for a few seconds. He stands back up and walks towards me again. "Listen Zac...", he doesn't finish, instead he raises him arm and boxes me across the face, making me take a step back. "Trust me Dave, I'm the last person you want to fight", I grin as I walk back over to him. "Oh yeah, and whys that?", he crosses his arms. "Because I'm capable of uncontrollable violence!", I say before my hand forms into a fist and makes contact with his face.

"Zac stop! Stop both of you!", Steph weeps. "You still love this asswhole!?", I laugh. "I.. Just.. Ugh.. Just stop okay!?", she shouts. "Why would I stop!", I yell. "Zac seriously, look at yourself! You're as mad as a hatter! You've completely lost it!", she gestures her hands. She's right, I have lost it! "That's because I love you!", I say. "Oh yeah, you love me!? Then why did you cheat on me with Beth!?", she questions. "Listen, I've said I'm sorry about that. Please just please give me another chance", I beg. "I think you should go Zac", Dave pats my shoulder with a grin on his face. I close my eyes and bite my tongue, trying not to kill him right then and there. "Please.. Just.. Just think about it?", I plea. Steph nods her head before closing the door, I'm sure she just said that to get rid of me though.