P: What's up homie?
B: The end of the world
P: 🙀
B: So, when exactly is the end of the world?
Should I worry about tomorrow's homework?
B: The world has already ended. Gosh Penny, u are so clueless.
P: It's not my fault! My wifi is down....
B: Well yeah, because the world is over.
P: Then how come I'm still able to watch tv and eat ice cream?
Which, by the way, is what I'm currently doing.
B: Because....
The end of the world hasn't reach u yet.
P: Oh.
Has it reached you yet?
B: Of course it has. How else would I know it was happening?
P: Oh. You know, that makes sense! So, is the end of the world painful? Would my chances of survival improve if I cowered in my basement?
B: Actually, it would.
Basements stop the end of the world.
P: Did you do that?
Is that why you are still able to text?
B: Ya. But I can't leave the basement or else I'll be thrust into the end of the world.
P: Ok. Could I come over? You're basement seems a lot more safer than mine.
B: Oh my gosh, Penny. Your understanding of the end of the world is very limited. If you come to my house, u will be consumed by the end of the world. Unless u dig a tunnel all the way to my basement to avoid upstairs.
P: Ok
I'll do that.
Do you have any shovels that I could borrow?
B: Ya, I'll bring it over when the world is done ending.
P: Sounds good. So, how are you?
B: I'm doing pretty well.
Wait a sec. I HEAR ZOMBIES!!!!
P: Nice. Good, good.
Zombies! Cool beans!
Take a pic for me, okay?
B: Penny, u will be eaten by zombies too one day.
P:
#ZombieApocalypseSelfie
You get all the fun! 😩
B: (Insert selfie here)
P: Nice selfie!
But now send me one with zombies in the background
B: Sorry, they've already eaten my brains. I am now incapable of taking a selfie.
Because it requires so much brain power.
P: More brain power than typing the word "incapable"?
B: First, u know nothing about the end of the world, and know u have no idea about zombies. Gosh
P: Ok, ok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.
B: I'm dead now.....so I can't keep texting u, sorry.
Hazard of being eaten by zombies
P: 😫
Don't go!
I have nothing to do but text you!
B: I'm dead. I have no choice
P: Can't you just.... I don't know..... Ask the zombies if you can be a zombie cheerleader or something, and just text me during your water breaks?
B: Sorry, zombies don't negotiate. I mean, literally, they can't. They are way too stupid.
P: Don't be mean! They accepted you, and you're just talking about them behind their backs!
😠
B: I am dead now so goodbye
--------------------------------------------
B: I feel like we talk about me dying a lot
P: It's an interesting topic
And I'm okay with it because usually I end up living in the end
B: Do u like the idea of me dying?
P: Not until I'm dead.
B: Ok then.
P: Good.
You know this whole time I've been copying our texts onto Wattpad, right?
B: I figured.
P:
#physicconnection
YOU ARE READING
Texting Funnies
عشوائيI am very sarcastic. Some, emphasis on some, of my friends are too. Let's just say, that when we get talking, it's hard to shut us up. Ok, basically, this is a book composed of some of the many many texts that me and my friends send. Basically, it's...
