Southern Gothic // Joshler

Epilogue

Self harm / implied sex / hallucinations / mention of gore

Tyler was anxiously twirling the ring on his left hand's ring finger as he sat on the bed of his and Josh's room. It had been two years since they had left his hometown. Two years since he had fallen in love with Josh.

Two years since he had lost everything.

He was staring down at the silver band on his finger as he twirled it. The engravings inside, JD and TJ were barely to be felt on the inside of his finger, but served as a reminder of who loved him. They weren't married yet, but it was growing closer by the day. They were just three months away from their wedding day now. Tyler's suit was in the closet, wrapped tight in a dress bag. Josh's was on the way from the tailor. 

He was in a high rise in Columbus, Ohio. They shared an apartment now. Josh's grandparents, whom had fallen in love with Tyler the moment they met him, helped pay for the apartment so that Tyler wouldn't have to work. It was for the best. The hallucinations that had begun two years ago still controlled him like the plague and while he saw a therapist twice a week, were only just now beginning to get under control. Shadows danced in the corners of his eyes nearly every waking moment, and it was torturous. 

Josh worked at the local music store. He was a manager there now, and had landed the sweet deal of being off on weekends so that him and Tyler would be able to get out of the house. 

It was Sunday, which is why Tyler was so anxious. Back in the beginning, Josh's grandparents had gently tried to persuade Tyler to go to church with them, but the second he stepped foot onto the property he had had a nervous breakdown which resulted in him being sent to a psych ward on an involuntary seventy two hour hold. Josh hadn't left his side for most of it, which he was grateful for. How was he supposed to explain to the doctors they had just left a cult which trapped him in a basement, cut off two of his boyfriend's fingers, and was run by something straight out of a horror film? 

He heard a small meow, which snapped him out of his thoughts as he felt the familiar sensation of their cat on his left leg. Mochi, whom they had adopted when they moved out a year ago, was always around Tyler when Josh was showering, or out, or just not nearby in general. Tyler appreciated it. He certainly could use the comfort.

The cat jumped onto the bed, her calico markings a blur as she dashed up onto Tyler's lap and nudged at his hands. Josh was out getting groceries, and while Tyler knew he'd be back soon, he felt so, so lonely. It was torture. His hand let go of his ring and he brought his hand up to Mochi's head, rubbing behind her ears with calloused fingers. 

The scar on his arm was nothing more than a reminder now. Adorning his other arm were a multitude of parallel scars, running from his wrist up to his inner elbow. He had only coped how he had known best to. He never claimed that it was healthy. 

Regardless of that, he hadn't harmed himself in over five months, and hadn't genuinely considered killing himself in seven. A personal record, if he could say. 

He remembered the day that Josh had walked in on that like it had just happened earlier that morning. Josh had been at work, and he was hallucinating so badly that he couldn't see straight. 

There was blood all over the floor of the bathroom and he was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, one of their kitchen knives on the ground. He was dizzy from blood loss.

"Tyler, I'm home from work. I've been trying to call you-" Josh began to open the door, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw him sitting across from him. "Tyler?" 

Tyler's eyes were glossy with tears, and he looked up at Josh, who was staring back at him in horror. "Welcome home, sweetie." 

"Ty- what, what did you do?" Josh could barely move. There was so much blood. Tyler was so pale.