when we collided [e.s.]

Twenty Two

I sit up in my bed and try to ignore the beauty of the full moon shining through the blades of my window shades because I need to think.
I turn the light on and quietly tiptoe into the main room and turn a lamp on.

I had never really observed the way our family room and kitchen were sort of all one. The ceiling of this apartment is high up, which makes us look rich when in reality we're basically dirt poor. The only things in our fridge are orange juice, whipped cream, and lettuce. We make do. We always have.

I see Cassie's bag sitting by the door and sigh in relief. Sometimes she doesn't come home at night because she thinks of a new reason to be mad at me and ends up sleeping at Andrew's.

I sit down on the couch and brush my hair back behind my ears. It's long and brown and mangled, but also sort of straight at the moment. It doesn't look particularly bad, thankfully. Ed is coming over and will be here soon.

I hear a knock on the door. Sticking a nail between my teeth, I stand up and walk towards it. My warm hand closes around the cold brass doorknob, and I open the door without thinking twice about it.

He's there. His hair is mangled, too. It suits him. I think I-

"I love you."

His voice whispers this to me, smooth and silky like melted chocolate. I quickly stop biting my nail and look at him with wild and terrified eyes.

The only reason I'm terrified is because it's 4 am, I look like crap with the skin around my nails bleeding, my nose stuffy and my hair a mess wearing a one direction tee shirt and red plaid pajama pants. And he... Looks perfect. He's wearing his glasses. His hair is wonderfully messy, he has a pair of grey jeans on and a black tee shirt. He never changed from today. Why of all times would he want to confess his love to me?

"I love you too," I whisper as it clicks.

He loves this. This mess of a person that I am. Don't ask me why, or how... But he does.

Ed smiles.