Love and Loyalty

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

He stared in my eyes and I felt bad, like I was hurting him. But I didn't know him, I knew Alexander though, and who would I rather hurt?

But this was more than simply which person did I choose, this was also about loyalty. This was also about family, mainly my Father who asked me to do this but I didn't want to. I couldn't just marry the prince because not only would I hurt Alexander, I'd hurt the prince and he'd think I was in love with him even if I wasn't. And then what? His whole life would be a lie. Why should I put him through this too? Didn't he deserve a happy life with a happy marriage?

"I just, I know when the prince chooses a bride everything happens so fast, and I wouldn't want to rush into things, and I feel like my whole life has sped up. I can't think straight of what I want right now." I answered.

"Well if you can make any decisions, please let me know." He told me.

I nodded. "Thank you."

"It's a shame you're not ready, we haven't known each other long at all, but you are what I believe I am searching for." He said sincerely.

I couldn't say the same, at all. He wasn't what I wanted for myself.

"I'm sorry for being indecisive,"

"It's a big decision, I'm glad you're not like some of the maidens here that would marry me right away for money, and power."

I nodded, and started to walk away. I had tears streaming down the face. Out of everyone here, he wants to choose me. Me! What's so great about me, anyways? I wondered. This was all messed up, no matter what happened, someone would end up unhappy. And I had thought that it would probably be Alexander and I.

I was wiping the tears away, and Alexander was up against one of the walls. I ran up to him, and he opened his arms for me to crash into. I burried my face in his chest, and he immediately held me with both arms.

"He wants to choose me," I cried. "But I told him I was unable to make a decision at the moment."

"He knows about me?" Alexander asked, I shook my head.

"I can't put you in danger, my Father wouldn't be happy." I said. If my father knew that Alexander was partially the reason why I couldn't marry the prince, he would find some way of hurting him, and I would've been involved too.

"Don't get caught with me, Elizabeth. I want to keep you safe, and I know you want the same for me. We can talk later. I'll see you tonight."

I nodded and he kissed my forehead, I turned and ran away from where he was, and started to look for my parents.

"Mother," I called. "Father,"

They were talking with the king and queen.

Fantastic. I thought.

I walked over to where they were, they looked like they were getting along, making me feel worse. I was so in love with Alexander, more than anyone could ever know or understand. But this was my family, and I wanted to make them happy and proud even though they didn't make me feel the same way. I didn't know why I wanted to make them feel good about me, when the feeling wasn't and never could be mutual. But I felt like I owed something to them for some reason, like I was betraying them lately by sneaking around with Alexander. But I didn't regret it. I straightened up, and approached them.

"Pardon my interruption," I said.

"Elizabeth, where is Joshua?" Father asked. That was the only thing he clearly cared about at the moment.

"Can I please speak with you and Mother," He frowned, looking disappointed with me. "Please." I couldn't marry the prince. I knew it was mentally and emotionally impossible for me to say my vows to him.

"Excuse us," Mother said, and took my hand and walked with me, I could see Alexander from where we were, but I pretended like he wasn't there.

"Why are you not with the prince?" Father asked.

I was crying again, "Please, I can't marry him. I don't feel any emotions towards him at all, I can't do this. I can't. Please understand. Please." I begged.

"Elizabeth, what is so bad about him that you-"

"He's not a bad person, he's just not someone I could love. Please try to understand that I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him." I explained. "I will do anything, but please don't make me marry him. Anything, I'll do anything you want."

"You're going to marry him," My Father said. My Mother frowned for me, I thought. But didn't say anything. "He chose you, and out of respect for your kingdom, you'll do it."

I was crying harder and faster.

"Ariana, let her be." He turned around with my Mother and walked towards the king and queen.

My dress was sprawled on the cool marble floor, and I was crying, and crying, and crying, my face was in my hands. Alexander came out from where he was listening, and he was silently crying with me, he took my hand and we walked out to the garden.

We sat next to a fountain, spewing water from the top. I cried, and he was holding me close. I tried to calm myself down, so that I could tell him something he deserved to know in case there was nothing more that we could do. For those few seconds I doubted ever seeing him again after that night. If I lived in a castle, I wouldn't be able to leave.

"Alexander," I wiped my tears. He looked at me. "I love you."

He cried more, I made it worse, but he deserved to know. "I love you, Elizabeth." I wiped his tears. "I am truly sorry that you have to go through this."

He made it difficult for me, telling me that he loved me. It made it worse, but for a second I was overwhelmed with a beautiful feeling, because he had been in love with me just like I was in love with him.

"I'm sorry to you, too." If I didn't meet up with him that night I wouldn't be hurting him now. But I didn't regret loving him, and I hoped that he didn't regret loving me. Even though through those few moments and the past few weeks I had been hurting him.

"You shouldn't have to do this." He told me.

"We could... Nevermind," I had a ridiculous thought.

"What?"

"It's stupid," It was, but it was a solution. "Really. It is."

"No, I'm sure it's not, please tell me." He begged for an answer. And he deserved to get one.

I said the words without regretting them, "We could run away."