Love and Loyalty

Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Joshua and I weren't speaking after my outburst. I didn't honestly feel bad for it. He wouldn't leave me alone. It annoyed me how he was acting like he deserved to know my whereabouts. I could understand that he was concerned, maybe nervous that I had been in danger. But the fact that he was acting like he was intitled to knowing where I was irritated me.

In all fairness, it was easier to keep the whole attack a secret without speaking to him. We didn't talk to each other about anything. But I knew the big event was coming up. I didn't know what or who it was for, but I knew that it was important. And I also knew we'd have to go from not being able to look at each other, to acting like we loved each other. I didn't care what my punishment was, I for one, would not act for someone else's sake, for the man that made me marry Joshua in the first place.

The king was going to want to showcase us as a beautiful couple that would rule his precious kingdom, with all of the precious people when he died. But I was not one to go along with that. I refused to act like a possession or object for the prince and king to show off. I was my own person. With my own thoughts. My own hopes, my own dreams. My own emotions, and my own desires. I wasn't going to let them take that away from me, too.

The bottom line was I was not going to act to be in love with someone that I wasn't.

I really wanted to see Alexander again, I thought seeing him would help but I think that it only made me miss him more. He was like a tease. He wasn't good enough. It was like giving a child only a bite of a cookie, instead of the whole thing. I couldn't deal with one small visit. I needed him pernamently.

I didn't want to write to Alexander, I didn't know what to write, We had already talked in person, and all this sudden a letter didn't feel good enough.

Annabelle seemed familiar. The more I thought about it, the more I thought I recognized her. Her shape, hair, eye, and skin color. But I couldn't know her. I had only met her twice. But I somehow felt as though I knew her, not only that but I thought that she knew me, too.

There was something about her. I couldn't put my finger on it. But who would I know at that age? I only spent time with Alexander and my parents, and now only with the prince and everyone else in the castle. So of course I couldn't know her from before the wedding.

It must've been that I knew her in the sense of understanding her. We were going through the same thing and I was able to feel a connection of knowing her that way. And as I started thinking more, I knew I had seen her before. There was a girl who looked like her in my village, and she moved away. She was who I was thinking of. I think her name was Johanna, or something like that. But I barely remembered her. She wasn't disowned, she was unlike everyone else. But she was beautiful, and she for some reason reminded me of Annabelle. The uniqueness, the appearance, the shyness, the beauty.

The event that I still didn't know anything about was approaching. I wanted to ask what it was about, but I wasn't on speaking terms with Joshua, and because of that I lost my only insight, (besides eavesdropping) that I had on the kingdom and the royals. But I figured I'd find out soon enough.

In the meantime I was bored out of my mind. All I wanted was for Alexander to come through the castle doors with everyone at that very second. I just needed him and I was done being away from him. It was a lot of work, being far away from each other for so long. But it only made me love him more. Because you never really realize how much you love something, until it's gone or taken.

I walked down the staircase and into the garden decorated with flowers across every bush, and fruit growing from every tree. I sat by the fountain in the same spot where I told Alexander that I loved him, and I wanted to run away with him. And he agreed, and it only made me cry at the thought of how happy we were, and how amazing we were together out there with just the two of us.

I began to miss him again, but I was also missing George, and Stevenson, and Lucille. Because even though we didn't know them long, they were worth missing. We didn't know each other long, but I already knew that when you love or care for someone, it doesn't matter how long you have known them for.

George cared for us instantly, he basically hired us as apprentices but payed us like employees. He took the time to show us but still payed us. It's rare to find something like that for a job. But not only did he take care of us that way, he treated me how a father should treat his daughter. And I couldn't have thanked him enough for that.

Stevenson was a person from Alexander's past, and I loved watching him, even though he didn't have the best job, or a job that pays a lot, he came to work every day with a smile on his face no matter what. I've never seen anyone love what they do the way he did, I've never seen anyone treat his customers so kindly, I've never met anyone like him.

Lucille was like the sister I had always wanted, the one I always craved. I wished for someone to understand me, I had Alexander, but it was different with her. She was my advisor, my friend, the closest thing I'd ever have to a little sister. I was thankful for meeting her.

I missed them all, they were all so close to me, they all had a special space in my heart that no one else was welcome to have. But Alexander's space was the biggest, it was like a mansion of love in my heart, and while I loved Stevenson, George, and Lucille as well, their spaces weren't as big. Because anyone who ever saw Alexander and I look at each other, they knew we were in love. It wasn't hard to figure it out. We loved each other more than anything. We were each other's one and only. We could never replace each other, even if we tried. Which we never would. We were each other's security, happiness, pride, joy, everything. No one in their right mind would give up their everything.