Love and Loyalty

Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Love is strange. Love can make you do crazy things. Love can inspire you. Love can drive you insane. Love can make you happy- but it can also make you mad. Love can break your heart. Love can tear you apart. Love can crush you. Love can help you. Love can be the end of you. Love can make you regret things. Love can be beautiful. Love can be ugly. Love can be flawless. Love can be flawed. Love can end. Love can run out. Love can be killed. But love and loyalty aren't that different, and when they are often pinned against each other, love always wins.

Because without love, for something, for someone, for anything, there's no point to any life at all.

~~~~

The day Alexander was coming. I was so excited I was shaking. How could I not be beyond ecstatic? I knew I saw him the previous night, when we barely spoke, just hugged, smiled, stared, kissed, I for one was speechless. There was nothing I was able to say, except for I love you the most powerful three words anyone can ever hear. And no one should ever say them without meaning them, because those three words make you feel so empowered, so happy, that you never want them to stop being spoken. Those words, that promise, if it ever became broken, your whole world could come tumbling down.

I didn't know what I should do. Was I supposed to wait for him like a damsel in distress? Was I supposed to help fight? Was I supposed to stall Joshua from getting near his father? I didn't know. But I did figure out that Alexander probably came to talk to me about it the previous night, but we couldn't talk about strategy for the next day. We were too caught in the moment of making up for lost time. For all the missed daily hugs and kisses we got back all at once and despite my lack of knowledge for the following day I didn't care. I didn't care! I wouldn't have traded that one moment for anything. Not for anything.

I knew that he was coming, and I was at such a loss for words as I laid in bed, staring at the cieling just craving to get out of those dreaded walls filled with all of my pain, my past, my sadness, the stain of my tears, and the booze I thought I could still smell, even though it was probably just my imagination. Those walls haunted me and I hated them, and I needed to leave the room that kept me inside of them. Those walls that I despised, those walls that I wanted to break down to free myself.

I needed to get out, and I knew I would. I could feel it within the pit of my stomach. Something was going to happen, and soon, and I'd be ready. I'd be ready for anything that they'd need me to do. Heck, I'd kill the king myself if they needed me to.

I needed him to come.

As I was lost in my thoughts, there was a noise. Swords hitting against each other, yelling, fighting. I ran out to the balcony and looked over, where the gates were, Alexander and the army of people he had collected were fighting against the guards.

There weren't enough guards in the castle- let alone outside to stop all of them. I didn't know what to do, except for watch in complete and utterly shock. What was I supposed to do? I was so high up, I couldn't get down there instantly, and if I could, would that help them? Joshua and I, we were their only hope if any of them were thrown into prison. If I were arrested too, they'd have no one but Joshua to help them out. And if he went back to Annabelle, he'd be in jail too.

They got past the guards and Alexander and I made eye contact.

His eyes were piercing through my eyes, through my skull, my brain, my heart, my soul, but I didn't care. And as much intensity as it took to not stop staring back I did it, whereas I'd usually blush, or embarrassedly turn away. But I knew I could stare back. And I did. Just because he was the person I loved and trusted most, he was my fear. He could make me melt with those eyes, those piercingly beautiful blue eyes that, despite their dark color, were so warm and sweet. Those eyes are deceiving, in the beginning they're scary, they're intimidating, they're dangerous, but I got used to those eyes. I got used to learning how to stare strongly, intently back into those eyes.

He walked away, he kept going. His job wasn't done. And as much as I just wanted him to come up the stairs and carry me down bridal style like the end of a story in a fairytale, I knew it wasn't that simple.

And it wasn't, I sat confused in my room for who knows how long. I tried to come out but guards kept me in. They didn't want me to be killed. I'm sure they knew who was behind it all, I'm sure they knew that my life wasn't in danger. But it was their job to protect me, no matter what the circumstances were. But I had made up my mind, I wasn't going to sit back while everyone else did everything to help me.

I got a sword out of a chest at the edge of the over sized bed. It was sharp, long, clean, and strong. I should've been scared to use it, a deadly weapon. It was my first time holding one, but I knew if I wanted to defend myself with it I couldn't be afraid of it. I had to trust it. It was like first meeting Alexander. I couldn't be afraid. I had to trust him. Just like I had to trust the sword to protect my life.

I changed into clothing that was techincally supposed to be used for horse back riding, but I needed something that would be close enough to armor.

I kicked the door until it started becoming more fragile. I used the sword to finish the job and came out.

The guards weren't allowed to hurt me. They stood back.

"Tell anyone I got out, or try and stop me, you'll regret it." I said.

They nodded, and stood in front of the door.

I crept down the stairs, and followed the mob of people Alexander and Annabelle had gathered, they were looking for the king but I thought I knew where he was. He went to his library whenever he was thinking, or nervous of something. Where else would he be before he thought he was going to die? Somewhere safe, somewhere to hide. And I'm sure there must have been some sort of hiding spot in the library. Maybe I'd be able to find it.

I stopped following behind the mob sneakily, and crept back up the stairs, careful to not make any noise. I walked towards the library where I had eavesdropped plenty of times before, and turned the door knob slowly. Of course it was locked. He was in there.

Taking my sword, I slowly started sawing through the wood. I couldn't make too much noise. If he were armed, he may have thought I was someone else. But even if he thought I was someone else, it wouldn't matter, I was still fighting on their side.

I made a hole in the door that was big enough for me to get into. I was surprised there were no guards in front of the library, but if he were in there it would be smart to not have guards in front. If he did it would just make it more obvious that he were in there and needed their protection. I half stepped, half crawled in, the library was a mess. Books that were usually neatly organized were thrown around, I was confused as to why they would be that way, but realized that my theory was most likely correct, he had a hiding spot and the books were somehow covering it.

I took books and began moving them behind me. They were all in my way, they were all blocking something. But on the floor? I didn't know what to expect. I shuffled around, trying to observe with every step, knowing there could be something under my feet at any second. The books were all different sizes, and all of the many shelves were emptied, I knew he had to be hiding somewhere under the pile I just didn't know where or how.

After continuing the long search, I felt wood, not books under my boots. I moved all the books that the wood was buried under, and threw them off to the side. There was what looked like a door in the ground. I was surprised, because although I had heard many conversations coming from this room, I had never been in it. I knew the king had to be under there, but I needed help if he were armed. I couldn't be a hundred percent sure that he wasn't the only one there. For all I knew he had guards with him down there. How was I supposed to take on them, considering it was my first time even holding a sword?

I decided to get back up. I knew I'd have plenty of it.